When I was much younger, 22 or so years ago, I had a few suicide attempts. What I’m dealing with now is so, so much worse. Orders of magnitude worse.
I have a cat now, though. Who would take care of my cat? I can’t leave my cat alone.
I am also alive because cat.
::hugs::
the psychological impact of a cat existing near you never fails to impress.
Plus there is that 100% percent certainty that the cat will start munching on your ears as soon as your pulse stops.
I’m sorry you’re going through it.
I have the same thing with my dog. I made an attempt when I was 18, then got a dog at 20. I’m 24 now and still struggle a lot with depression, wishing the attempt had worked and all that, but would never do it now because I can’t imagine leaving my dog all by himself.
Same but with a 13 year old son. If he was way younger maybe; but he would know and remember now.
Commenting in both of these comments so y’all both see it, but be careful with having a living thing as your safety net. It’s tough to think about, but at some thine they will pass and the ground will fall out from under you. Speaking from experience here.
Edit: Sorry, not trying to darken an already dark topic.
No, you’re totally right. My hope is that I’m in a more stable place when that day comes. I’m already doing a lot better, so here’s to hoping.
I appreciate you saying that tho, I think that’s important to hear for a lot of people in similar situations, because it’s absolutely true.
Right on, best of luck and be safe out there. I was on the fence of whether to post anything or not. Mainly was afraid I’d get the response that I did from the other commenter. If I learned anything from that experience, and closer to what I originally wanted to convey but don’t think I did, is that it’s important to not rely on one thing to keep you going. Having a pet to help keep you going is great, but my mistake was having my dog be ‘the only thing’, so losing him also lost the last thing that was keeping me going.
Anyways, have a good one and give your puppers a hug.
what a shitty thing to say.
edit: replying in both places because you said it twice
Yikes. I don’t know a better way to phrase it, but I sure as hell wish someone had said that to me 10 years ago; before my dog who was my safety net got a brain tumor out of nowhere and had to be put down. What do you do when the only thing that’s keeping you afloat becomes an anchor? Animals are absolutely great and I’m not saying they shouldn’t have them or even use them to help mental health. But having a living thing that is the only thing stopping you from self-harm is dangerous.
Yikes. I don’t know a better way to phrase it
telling depressed people, “hey, that thing you love? that light in your life? IT’S GONNA DIE!” is really fucked up, and if you don’t know better than not to say things like that, you should say nothing at aall. rubbing it in more and trying to rationalize it with an anecdote about your own horror story hardly makes it better.
if any of us had wanted your advice, we would have asked for it. I’ll listen to my therapist’s advice for an emotional support animal over some stranger on the internet who seems more interested in trolling and attention than being supportive to others.
Ok, have a good one.
Commenting in both of these comments so y’all both see it, but be careful with having a living thing as your safety net. It’s tough to think about, but at some thine they will pass and the ground will fall out from under you. Speaking from experience here.
Edit: Sorry if that’s dark, not trying to drop the mood on an already moody topic.
what a shitty thing to say.
edit: replying in both places because you said it twice
how would we be?
i’m gonna list a few things:
- war in europe
- genocide in gaza
- everything is a subscription
- appliances are made to fail now
- phone manufacturers blindly follow apple’s horrible decisions
- housing market is going to hell
- general enshittification of every service
- cars are getting worse every day, be it the phasing out of ICEs in favour of EVs that have no hope of lasting even 20 years (that one may be fixed until 2035), the general reliability problems or the ugly designs.
- Windows is actively getting more invasive and even less private, although linux is looking very promising
- the political right is getting more drastic, and it seems to be working for them
edit:
- global warming, i forgor
i am not surprised
Global warming is kind of a big one to not list…
No no no, our pocket computers becoming too much like another company’s pocket computers definitely is a bigger issue! Get your priorities straight!
thats just part of a general trend of everything we care about enshittifying.
i dont blame them, i used to love tech and now i despise most of it.
you’re right, i did forget that one.
don’t forget all the layoffs happening despite already being overworked, understaffed, and bombarded with RTO propaganda
I promise that people who are “not ok” are literally not even thinking about how Windows is getting worse. I’m a sysadmin and if windows was perfect my life would still be equal levels of shit, it’s such a non issue that I’m amused you brought it up
computers are a big part of my life, i guess my priorities are just set differently.
i definetely consider it a factor in my mental health.
I literally maintain computers for a living and it’s quite low on my list of things that make me sad, yeah way different priorities I guess
It’s the factor that’s easiest to do something about, though. Just switch to Linux.
I’m a server admin, look after hundreds of redhat servers and windows servers. So I can’t just delete windows from my life. Some reason I’ve just become completely indifferent to how shitty windows is
not very easy if you play multiplayer games, do sim racing, or play VR games.
Fusion360 is finnicky, and yes i have tried using freecad.
just not that viable for my use case yet.
You forgot “on track for a 10c rise by the end of the century”
And social media completely destroyed the fabric of society
Well damn, Windows gets invasive and I am DONE
Welcome to Linux. Pick a flavor.
Or all the flavors.
Yeah, I was joking. I have used Linux as my primary desktop since 1999… I didn’t trust Windows XP.
I grew up on red hat…. I remember XP being the weird thing with the funny buttons I used for games.
Holy first world problems, batman!
Elmo you are on the inside, you can get places we can’t, you are trusted. Help us change things. I have a list of names.
Elmo might be on the inside….
But his puppet masters are still fisting him all the same. (Sorry for ruining childhoods.)
When an Elmo stands up for himself he gets silenced and they stitch a new one. Younger. Innocent. A naïve Elmo that doesn’t get the same education so he’s easier to control.
Fist Me Elmo! was a b8g seller a5 thevFolsombStreet Faire
yeah. this may be a little better or worse depending on where you are in the planet but its grim.
i’m either wasting away at work all day every day because now bosses act like they own you too much and don’t owe you for what you do so i have no time to live, or i’m a depressed and unemployed wasting away because i have no money to live.
not being able to afford anything for a seemingly infinite amount of meaningless work where you are not respected. that feeling we are just deluxe slaves working though the apocalypse. your worth is calculated based on how good of a slave you are.
capitalism enshitifying not only tech, but just about everything is getting ever more crappy expensive and disposable. we are on this hamster wheel where we need those expensive gadgets and a shitty app for everything, but they are expected to break soon so you need to pay for another and another and so on while contributing to the end of the planet because of it.
the fact we are products/cattle being monetized in all sorts of unhealthy ways and watched 24/7 by our own appliances. they use advanced psychology to control and make us submissive. dont you dare actually trying to improve things or we will use our vast surveillance network to strike you the fuck down.
culture of everyone being hyper individualistic, alienated and self centered (possibly including myself here) contrary to our nature. everyone has less and less friends, everyone is alone and we hate on eachother because of distractions.
…and the internet is now a dopamine trap instead of the beautiful place for connection and knowledge it used to be, but somehow everyone is way more dependent on it for socialization. corporations mediate our relationships and making us alone depressed and angry is more beneficial for them.
capital is literally destroying the planet, poisoning the air we breathe, turning it into an oven, killing massive amounts of life just so a handful of sociopathic people can be god-level powerful over us.
and the sheer amount of death being brought upon us by them for trivial reasons, like a convoluted way someone can have more shitty pieces of paper by murdering people everywhere around the planet.
we cant afford to start families or even be completely financially independent. life is an eternal struggle for meaningless pieces of paper (more like stupid numbers on a shitty bank computer now) and they are always finding new ways to oppress us financially and making us pay more for basic, low tech and low cost necessities that werent a problem for past generations to have.
we know we have no future, no love and no hope. we know we will starve or suffocate to death, but are being played on by the system to turn on eachother instead. the future is looking more and more like apocalypse-techno-dystopia. if it isnt that already.
and nothing we can immediatly do about any of it. people act like i am batshit insane for wanting to throw this shit away and have a revolution to remove our current kings. people immediatly try to excuse them even though their life garbage because our fear of change is probably being weaponized against us, like seemingly every single human instinct. hell, it seems some people dont even want to admit to themselves they are suffering because that would make them lazy leeches or something.
do i even need to keep going? you can tell i woke up on the wrong fucking foot today cant you?
All I can say is you’re not alone and I really wish I could give you a hug right now, friend. :(
I got this favorite literary passage for you though. I think we all ought to hear it a bit more often:
Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam…
Sam: I know! It’s all wrong! By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam : That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.
Let’s remember this was written by a fellow who survived the hellish trenches of WW1. A conflict that felt ridiculously pointless for all the bloodshed it caused.
Here we are in our own figurative trenches. We are weathering our own crisis after crisis, wondering if it’s all worth it in the end. “But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow.”
We can’t give up and give in to despair, because friends, family, people we don’t even know, need us to all keep each other going. Our time will come. Don’t give up on exposing this nonsense in the most loving way you can, showing people alternatives, and building the resistance to State and corporate tyranny. One changed mind at a time.
I need to read Lord Of The Rings again. That was beautiful.
Fuckin amen! I often think of what I could be doing with my life if I was financially independent. It just feels like so much of my time is just wasted at being at my job. It’s fuckin depressing…
Somethings gotta give soon…
As someone who has kids who are now just becoming “adults,” “that funny feeling” just keeps getting worse. I worry they’ll never be able to afford houses or families of their own and with the constant rising costs, we won’t have anything to even leave them. I wish I could bury my head in the sand and think everything will be just fine, but I can’t anymore.
The older I get the more I can relate to this quote from Friends:
Let’s see my list of anxiety:
- Climate Change
- The rise of fascism (and being in a marginalized group targeted by fascists)
- Inflation eating into my earnings and savings
- The entire marketplace being dominated by broken, fake or scam services and products.
- Pretty severe imposter syndrome and the related feeling that my job mobility is bad because I’m not valuable.
- Anxiety and ADD feeling worse than ever and having little hope to get help treating it.
God damnit. Am I leaving comments from alt accounts in my sleep again?
All this and also my roof is leaking because my fucking landlord only gets hack fixes from a fucking handyman instead of maintaining my goddamn home
Document it and withhold rent until it’s remedied properly. Is there a tenant union in your area you could reach out to for assistance and guidance?
Its ok she will fix it, its just going to be 4 shitty repairs instead of one good one, besides my parents are on the lease and they don’t want to raise a fuss. Thanks for your advice.
Small comfort, but the thing with Fascism is that it is a cult of power. Nobody is safe, anyone can be targeted, including those who support it most fervently. Anyone with half a brain knows that under fascism they’re one week and whim from being the next target, so know that you aren’t alone.
It’s certainly frustrating to watch people who would definitely end up in camps supporting the fascist take-over of their country. But they think they’re special and unique and the face-eating leopard won’t eat their face.
nobody’s ok right now
This was a Twitter post, so of course no one who replied is ok, they’re Twitter users.
deleted by creator
Well the first problem is the question was asked on Musk’s hellsite. No one who still uses that platform is ok.
I’ve seen Elon Musk nick’d as ElMo, so it get’s meta…
And you’re not wrong, hence here.
I’m doing ok and I hope for the best for all the rest of you who are struggling
Let’s see, I’m a month away from being $500 short on rent. Me and my wife separated this year after 3 years. I’m a single parent of a two year old. I was diagnosed with autism and panic disorder last august at the age of 35. My mom died of a fentanyl overdose in 2021, two weeks before my son was born. I’ve been dealing with work burnout after working in food/retail management during Covid, the lockdown, and customers cussing me out over Covid policies and being disgusting in general. I changed jobs, hate the current job, still burnt out. And I’ve had Covid 3 times and my lungs haven’t been the same since the first time.
I’m honestly doing OK. I’ve found my passion for my hobbies again and am feeling confident I can weather this
Sorry to dump all that on you . It’s like therapy.
Seems like you’re focusing the good, more power to ya. I’d say it gets better, but that’s a crapshoot, you can however learn to cope better, be well.
I’m certainly trying
i like how it’s some fucking revolation. Like, just look around. poke around on the internet for 10 min. Large, HUGE amounts of people have not been ok for a long time. What’s sad is everyone has their fucking heads too buried in their phones and ipads to notice.
The only reason I’ve not killed myself is cos I’ve been failing for 20yrs to do it. Don’t expecyt me to enjoy this fucked up existence just because I have no fucking choice but to live in it.
Life is just a different type of prison.
Step away from the news cycle, friend. Stick to topics that bring you joy, be it space, guitars, whatever. Three weeks of that, and your outlook will be better. Also, cut your social media consumption down to one, maybe two days per week.
I’m not saying that’s all you need to do. I know mental health is a very complicated subject! I myself suffer from anxiety. But I did the above, and it’s made a difference.
You matter, friend!
I don’t think this advice actually works well for everyone. Receding more into isolation is just as exhausting and depressing to some as being aware but part of the mess.
I honestly think people just want to feel productive and see strives for making things better. Stuff that is hard to do personally and unfortunately not very present in society at large.
Ignorance is bliss only if you start and stay ignorant. You can’t put the horrors of the world back in the box once the lid is opened.
I know you mean well but I personally see how this can feel very surface level and not be super helpful even though I don’t personally know what advice is. It’s kinda hard for a singular person to truly understand another. We try and that’s good though, it’s what really makes us human. Hope we get more of that.
Thanks for your insight, and I of course agree with you.
I guess my advice is incomplete. More isolation sucks for many for sure, yes. Something that I have also done is change communities for a while. Or at least turn off those individuals that aren’t nothing but doom and gloom and “debbie downers.” Plus trying to remember that social media life is not real life can help a little. If you see a friend on a yatch, what you don’t see if the times that friend has a pretty much boring life, or even hitting rock bottom.
Here’s an extreme, but I know people who have amazing instagram photos, and they’re dealing with drugs, alcohol and an abusive partner, for instance - yeah, I’d rather have my “boring life.” But I digress.
Mental health is a complicated matter, and I hope OP is reading this thread. Ultimately, what matters is that OP reaches out to someone, preferably a professional, and share their struggles.
I don’t do it because I’m not willing to transfer my pain to my family members.
Oh you have a family? Must be nice.
Yeah. I fucked up an attempt so bad that actually it made me make an agreement to never try again.
I get it. It sucks cause you know that there is an option for it to be over but when you take it… Well everything is over and it’s as awful as you left it. I hold out on the sliver of hope that it’s gonna get better, cause nothing stays the same for long. It will change and then you can revaluate again.
Death can be pretty final. And the last thing you experiencing being pain and sadness is not a good way to go. Don’t expect to enjoy every moment of life though. That’s a dream that doesn’t exist. But try to enjoy what you can and live knowing the other side is for later.
I haven’t because I know how it would make my parents feel. But I’ve slowly been more and more isolated since my sister had kids and our parents seem to prioritize them over me these days. So I know feel more and more that I’m the burden keeping them on this side of the country rather than moving to be closer to my sister and her family. Might as well make the choice easier for them.
I think that “heads buried” comment may just be the newest “kids these days”. It was always complaints going back to television, then radio, even as far back as carrying newspapers on the morning trolley.
I know it often seems like people just aren’t engaged - but it’s usually how they engage, for better or worse.
Except it’s not just “kids”. It’s everyone. Look around.
Right? Buddha laid down the science of the four Noble truths a long ass time before the internet.
Suffering is an ancient companion of our species.
My random list
-
climate change, I live in BC and summers are literally apocalyptic, ash raining from the sky and can’t even see the sun
-
loss of biodiversity which is plainly obvious with every passing year. Recently drove to Alaska without having to clean bugs off windshield
-
clearcut forest no matter where you look
-
never getting my own house despite “doing everything right” and well above average income
-
one bag of groceries is like $100
-
never having kids or a family, obvious reasons
-
no real friends since I graduated college, social media ruined everything
-
friends I had are priced out and are thousands of km away, or dead
-
housing so fucked that I have spent the last five years looking for a rental that allows a cat and still looking, I feel like if I just had a cat I would be so much happier
-
aging population and constantly going to funerals
-
various addictions I’ve lost control over since pandemic
-
cost of travel increasing exponentially so that’s coming to an abrupt end too
-
impossible to go outside without reminder of total societal collapse, teslas cruising around on streets full of homeless people
-
haven’t seen a doctor in years because there are none
-
have to go to work in 10 minutes but didn’t get a wink of sleep last night or the night before it, this is probably the main reason this comment was so whiny
You’re not whiny. Don’t denigrate yourself the way boomers bullied you to. Your feelings and concerns obviously do matter.
Maybe later I’ll edit the post with a list of things I’m grateful for because there are a lot of them, too
hi! it’s been about three hours since you posted this. you doing better?
Appreciate you checking in, I actually called out sick today and going to spend the day in the forest to recharge a bit.
Hey if you ever end up getting a place that allows cats, please get two. When you are away at work they can socialize with each other. I’m not saying having only one cat is animal abuse or anything, it’s just better to have two.
I need to be doing that more often. Thanks for the inspiration.
It’s a great exercise on mindfulness which is incredibly important at least for my brain. Rather than trying to hike the longest distance sometimes it’s better to sit completely still for an extended period of time and allow the birds to get used to your presence. It’s quite humbling when the patience pays off.
-
I’ve been working harder at work for a promotion. I’m not going to get it. I fucking hate work, it’s not particularly hard, it’s just unfulfilling and boring. I dread work every day. I would go somewhere else but hate interviewing because even for 1 job it’s at least 4 interviews and tests. I can’t afford to take a cheaper job. I took today off though so that’s nice.
If you’ve been working hard at work to get a promo, it’s probably time to get that promo, but externally. You’ll probabaly get better pay that way too.
When putting together your resume, remeber to use the xyz format for your job successes “achieved x, doing y, with z results”. This helps provide hiring managers and recruiters an idea of your performance and what type of results you can likely deliver for their team.
Enjoy the day off
You are going to suffer every day just to avoid 4 interviews?
I interview for a new job every now and then, like twice a year, even tho I don’t hate my job.
It’s a fun process that can only go well (worst case, everything stays the same) and you practice your interview skills. And you get a first hand peek into the job market to help you negociate your current job conditions. And you get to know new people, companies, processes and technologies.
Work to live, not live to work
I’m sad there’s been virtually no snow all winter and I’m in Canada. That’s a bad sign. Ski slopes might as well close for good.
Same here. The mountain I frequent just put in a high speed lift, went operational Dec 24. After Christmas they got rain for at least a couple of days during break and I didn’t even try skiing then.
My kids went sledding one day last season and one day so far this season. The ground barely freezes so the mice and ticks will be in force come spring.
I’m in New England so further south but I do remember the times we had snowy Christmases and could skate on the ponds. Hopefully my kids might be able to experience that but I have my doubts, I doubt I will ever see that again.
I remember when I had to stuff a snowsuit beneath my Halloween costume. I only ever once saw a green Christmas in childhood, and now I don’t know the last time I saw a white one. This year we’ve had like a day of very mild snowfall and one fairly cold week, and it’s just pure mud out there and hovering around 3C. It isn’t good at all.
I live in Iowa but work remotely for a company in Minnesota - we got like 2 feet more snow than Minnesota did with the blizzard a few weeks back. The climate has been so crazy these last few months
Is that abnormal?
Minnesota is infamously cold. Iowa is famous for corn.
The last few winters my dad had to drive up to Minnesota when he wanted to snowmobile - we would have like 1 inch of snow while they had feet of it
Nobody on X is doing okay. People forget that’s just one of the social media and it’s taken a turn for the worse. Lem is mostly chill.
mostly, excluding .ml and kbin accounts, those people need to chill the fuck out.
(not literally everyone, obviously. they just have a tendency to be very passionate)
its seldomly kinda funny how your chosen instance has become an object of judgement and hate here.
i chose mine completely randomly and i bet a huge chunk of users did too.
e: back then i almost registered a .world user instead
Lol this is literally that “so controversial yet brave” meme and I agree I’ve noticed the same. Kbin gets passionate af about random topics with ml it seems to be more political but everyone please correct if I’m wrong
Hey! I’m from .ml and I sorta take some offense at that! I think, does anyone know?
I’m from the generic instance so my opinion is irrelevant anyway also I’m probably a bot beep boop
Well, let’s have a think about this:
- Prices are skyrocketing, and pay isn’t increasing
- Companies posting huge profits while laying off thousands
- Unstable economy and political landscape in the west
- War and uncertainty spreading across the globe
- Another rise in right-wing, populist anger
- Mere years removed from the worst global pandemic in a century
- Several generations living a missold dream of being able to work a job and afford to live
- Damaged mental health from growing up with social media (and yes, I appreciate the irony of posting this on social media)
With all this in mind, is it any wonder why so many aren’t doing well? Pair this with people that are used to being unashamedly open on social media, especially when piggybacking on a popular post from a “celebrity”, and I’m surprised that it isn’t even worse…
