If I had not prepared for the worst on multiple occasions I would be homeless right now. Its good to prepare with what you have. The part to avoid is worrying about things you can’t do anything about. Granted a lot of that is desperately trying to figure out if there is something you can do that you have not thought of.
Catastophising is a legitimate technique. “What’s the worst that could happen?” followed up with “is that worst actually that bad?”
The problem is, is that the worst is often “that bad”.
And overwhelmingly likely, in many cases. And then, pretending it’s all sunshine and rainbows means setting yourself up for an extra helping of disappointment later.
The best thing about being a pessimist is that all surprises are pleasant ones.
I thought it was meant to be followed up with “what’s the likely outcome”, not legitimizing the worst (given how rarely that happens)
I appreciate the sentiment, but my brain just does not work any other way. As someone about to lose his job and then maybe house not long after, I think I need to be in crisis mode.
Some people do work better in that mode. Helluva way to live, but many have little choice due to how their brain works - although sometimes the right meds can help. Whatever happens, I hope you pull through okay. Good luck.
when you let your guard down, that’s when shit goes wrong.
The problem with trying to force yourself to believe you’re wrong about something you’re not wrong about, is that you’re not wrong about it.
We still should go through all the possibilities or at least the most likely ones, including negative and positive ones. Having an action plan ready for the negative outcomes can help to reduce anxiety around it and it’s always a nice surprise if it actually goes well.
No thanks. That’s when things go wrong for no reason.
Things will happen no matter what, better to try to influence the outcome than just let others decide it for you. Take it from someone who’s spent several decades fighting with this.
I stopped trying to fight it. I’ve wasted so much time trying to rewire my brain. Now I just prepare for the worst by default.
Does the worst ever happen? Very rarely, but that seems beside the point. If the point is that one has had the worse happen enough times to never let their guard down.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
Not sure I would say rarely happen. I have prepared for the worse only for it to be worse than that.
I dunno, I see a lot of pessimism here. My husband agrees with yall. Me? ray of goddamn sunshine often. Ive seen bottom, I could even go back there an be alright.
I used to sooth myself as a teen, “he cant kill me, its illegal, and he cant kill me” because my gaurdian was so terrifingly abusive. So, the rest of life has all been sunshine compared to that. Even when I was so poor I hadnt had food in days, even when I was taking cig butts out of ashtrays and sleeping on park benches. Everything aweful thing, was better than the house I grew up in. Hell, even my DV relationship, (lmao cant believe imma say this) but that was better than what I grew up in.
My positive outlook carries me very far. To see the small joys even in the dark, carries me. My partner just worries to death about literally everything, like one thing stresses him out, Imma hear about every possible wrong thing that could go wrong and watch him spiral into the anxiety. I support him through it because it is hard to live this way, and he tries to control it, but often its not in his control where his mind leads. But I am very greatful I dont have this trait.
Just because you survived something doesn’t mean that it worked out.
I doubt I will ever be able to train my brain to stop this. Also it’s just doing it’s job to protect me. Hard to blame it for taking this a little too far…
So instead I just try and balance it out by asking myself: What is the best thing that might happen? What’s the most likely thing to happen? Which in most cases is simply nothing of note. The important thing is not to keep thinking only about the worst outcomes.
