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MeatPilot@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 days ago

My asshole will never recover.

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My asshole will never recover.

lemmy.world

MeatPilot@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 days ago
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  • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 days ago

    This is why I always check how spicy something is by first sticking some up my butt.

    • Rob T Firefly@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      That’s a good idea. Going forward I, too, will check how spicy something is by first sticking some up this person’s butt.

    • MeatPilot@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 days ago

      Do you use your fingers or a fork?

      • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 days ago

        Mounted slingshot with a latch release set up under a specially designed chair that has a hole in the seat for precision alignment.

        Set the slingshot, drop the food in, pull the trigger. No unsanitary poking with tools or fingers needed.

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        4 days ago

        Finger is for fun,

        I use utensils like a civilized gentleman.

    • eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 days ago

      as above, so below

      • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 days ago

        As within, so without

    • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      Reminds me of the monkey joke

  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.social
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    4 days ago

    I slip habanero flakes under my foreskin to surprise my wife during sexy time.

    • MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      That makes all the holes spicy at once. Just save anal for last, she might get a UTI.

    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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      4 days ago

      Amateur hour. I use bengay.

      • TheArtfulLlama@lemmy.zipBanned
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        Removed by mod

  • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    This is why i eat fire retardant

    • MeatPilot@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 days ago

      I’d try that, but I think it would really fill me up.

  • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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    4 days ago

    Honestly I’ve been getting super into spicy food the last couple of years and growing my tolerance a lot, to the point I’m now easily chomping down on California reapers based sauces and this just doesn’t seem to be an issue for me at all, the going out part never seemed to be affected?

    • too_high_for_this@lemmy.world
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      IIRC, it’s genetic. Some people have a gene that produces an enzyme that breaks down capsaicin.

      Edit: it might actually be a gut bacteria thing, I don’t remember

      • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Is there a way to take this enzyme as a supplement so you don’t get the butt burn even if you don’t have the gene? I’m thinking like those pills for lactose-intolerant people. I love spicy food but fire poops can eat a dick.

      • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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        4 days ago

        Well I’m glad I have that gene then!

      • TheArtfulLlama@lemmy.zipBanned
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    • FilthyHands@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      I’ve been eating very spicy food for 30 years and never had this problem.

    • furry toaster@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 days ago

      yeah, idk what people do

    • MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      I need to do some anal training.

      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        for hot food, or…?

    • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      time to move on to the actual peppers. The sauces are tame compared to the source.

      Except pure extract. Don’t fuck with that shit.

      source : Ate an entire Komodo Dragon pepper in one bite. Once.

      BuT iT’s FrOm TeScO, gRaNdMaS sHoP tHeRe, HoW bAd CaN iT bE?

      https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/aug/11/uk-hottest-ever-chilli-pepper-komodo-dragon

      Also, there’s a reason that hot ones have sauces for celebrities and pepper mash and peppers for Klaus and Sean to eat.

      • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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        Yeah I’ve not tried any super hot peppers in raw form yet, only reasonable ones, but I know that’s the hardest you can get. I could be tempted into trying although so far on this journey I’ve mostly been enjoying making my regular food spicy, because I’m the only one in the family that likes it the sauces are handy for that. I’m mostly looking for the extra flavour/feeling not necessarily taking it as a challenge if you know what I mean.

      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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        4 days ago

        I had a friend convinced me to put my finger on the top of a Satan’s blood extract bottle turn it upside down and try it out. That was up there as one of the most painful things I’ve ever done. I just kept eating bread for like five minutes.

    • Cruxifux@feddit.nl
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      Same. I love my california reaper sauce, it only detroys my willing asshole when I overdo it, but I have to have a lot for that to happen.

    • [deleted]@piefed.world
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      I can eat some fairly spicey stuff and for me it really depends on what kind of spicy food it is.

      For example, I can’t recall Thai food ever getting my guts in a storm like a few Mexican dishes can. I think if it has rice involved I’m fine.

  • OwOarchist@pawb.social
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    I used to be kind of into spicy food, but this is what ended it for me.

    I can get to where I really enjoy the spicy on the way in … but I never enjoyed it on the way out. Just not worth the pain I knew I’d have to endure later.

    • A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      but I never enjoyed it on the way out

      Speak for yourself, bucko

      • OwOarchist@pawb.social
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        I thought I was speaking for myself?

        Maybe I really do contain multitudes… Are you part of me? Does some other part of me have its own Lemmy account?

    • MeatPilot@lemmy.worldOP
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      It’s the worst and you can’t even stop it like you can stop eating. You just have to endure and push through.

      • nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de
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        Capsaicin helps with hemorrhoids though, so push as hard as you want.

        • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today
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          Nice. I don’t get exit burns, so time to consume more of it I guess.

  • Cam@scribe.disroot.org
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    I love the heat.

    • MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works
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      I won’t kink shame

  • SailorFuzz@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Another reason to get a bidet.

    • MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      I have one and afterwards it’s like an sweet angels kiss to my brown eye.

    • TheArtfulLlama@lemmy.zipBanned
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      Removed by mod

  • nastronot@lemmy.zip
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    Imagine having to hold your tail while shitting

    • MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works
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      Like cupping my dick and balls using a public toilet.

      • nastronot@lemmy.zip
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        ok go off Mr relevant username

        • MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works
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          Avoiding poseidon’s kiss in foreign waters.

  • bold_omi@lemmy.today
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    3 days ago

    Spicy food:

  • over_clox@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    To recover implies that your asshole was covered in the first place…

    • MeatPilot@lemmy.worldOP
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      It kind of is since it’s a sphincter that opens and closes.

      • over_clox@lemmy.world
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        If I may politely ask, will you keep your fecal sphincter private please?

        🤣

        • MeatPilot@lemmy.worldOP
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          4 days ago

          I’ll try.

          NSFL

          I lied. Picture a little fishes mouth, gasping for air. Stuck in a pool of hot wet mud.

          • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            • over_clox@lemmy.world
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              4 days ago

              Sigh, unzips…

              • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world
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                4 days ago
                im almost there

                • over_clox@lemmy.world
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                  4 days ago

                  Giggity giggity puke 🤮

                  Also, now my dick is stuck, plz halp…

    • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 days ago

      Gotta cover the spread

  • Arachnidbrilliant@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    I grow ghost peppers every year. Just get a bidet

    • MeatPilot@lemmy.worldOP
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      I have one, but think I need to hook it up to a gallon of milk.

  • onipa@feddit.org
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    one of the few on-topic posts in this community

    • MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works
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      But is it still a shitpost if it has a purpose?

      • onipa@feddit.org
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        Well yes, because it’s about shitting 💩

  • TrooBloo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    Good spice burns twice

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