Okay.

If you can, read

Bruh I can read.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

You know, I’ve heard of a solution to the CEO problem recently thats making the news cycle…

two memes in one post?

100% this is the most effective way to get to him.

Conservative/ reactionary.

No seriously. Take the time to look at the structure and framing of conservative and reactionary arguments. Its almost ALWAYS rooted in strictly their lived experience: no other lived experience matters. The answers others are giving are technically correct, but also miss how deeply rooted this particular structure is in political identity.

boba

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Yep. This was the issue people took with Chomsky’s approach to language, basically the same sentiment. Humans are “special” in some way. It underlines the basis of almost all cognitive, neuroscience, and language research for decades.

And run by the government! For All!

I’m torn because I want to tell him to leave me alone, that I don’t care about his life,

Tell them to leave you alone, that you don’t care about their life.

I’m 100% serious. Just be honest if thats the way you feel. It sets up boundaries and if they are a sane person, they’ll respect you for your honesty.

No not really at all. The curing process is pretty extensive and the plants, when cut, smell more like bandaids than vanilla. The split pod in the above image smells intoxicating, so when they become ripe, they do smell like vanilla. However, to get nicely cured beans, requires about 3 months of processing. I’ll save up beans until I have enough to do a batch, but I wont have vanilla I can work with till prob spring.

You have to. There is no other option. Shoutout Edmond Albius.

Mostly just chicken manure. I also use a citrus/ avocado mix a couple times a year. They can handle less fertility than most garden plants can. Some growers run their beds very hot. Some don’t fertilize hardly at all or use extremely basically a mostly carbon compost

So I usually do about 1 tofu container of pelleted chicken 4 4x a yea, with about half a tofu container of a citrus/ avocado mix 2x per year, per vine. I had a friend try mj bloom fertilizer around flowering and he got very good results. I want to try that to see if I can get more flowers.

In the jungle they grow in pure leaf mulch, which is basically all carbon. And they don’t seem to mind at all.

Oh man. Wildly different. I have one variety I got from another grower who is growing at almost 800 meters. I’m basically at sea level. It hates it here. I have three varieties doing extremely well for me. And with those I’ve tested them on both my small farm and with another grower who has more land, but has a climate which gets some salt air impact. The varieties that do well for him are very different than the ones that do well for me. I also have one more “ornamental” variety which is variegated. Its clear to me that any grower is going to need to do some experimentation (or just get lucky, much easier) with varieties to find one that works for their climate.

In regards to flavor, I think there is probably much more variety available than what you find in a store, which is almost all Madagascar or Mexican. I would say for me, Mexican vanilla is more interesting, because all Madagascar vanilla is basically the same variety (afaik). I think Vanilla is very much like wine. There is a huge impact of variety; but also where you grow the plant and how you grow the plant, and then how do you post-process or cure the vanilla? All of those impact the flavor profile.

A tropical one 👍 🤙

Outdoors. I grew them indoors for years in a higher latitude climate, and even though I had plenty vine, never flowers. As long as you don’t go very far below 70 degrees for more than a bit, should be fine. But the real issue is humidity. They need high humidity (60%+) and thats hard to replicate anywhere outside of a proper greenhouse. Also, they are a big plant. I cant say with any certainty that they are the largest orchid, but one vascularly connected vine (what is one plant is hard to say because they propagate through vegetative tendrils) could be literally literally hundreds of pounds/ kg. And pretty much they need to get that amount of vine before they start flowering and fruiting. Its so much, another grower I know had a whole 50 foot run of vines that had been growing for 6 years collapse under the weight. I do have a friend who is experimenting with hydro. He used to grow mj and is using some old cloning gear he had around, and he and I were both blown away at how good it did. Now that was only to get it rooted but still a good sign. It is doing so well I’m going to try an hydro install for a new planting I’m going to be putting in next year. I also met another grower at a conference who was working with a company looking to do experimental growing in heated/ humidity controlled greenhouses in southern Canada.

Pest issues are basically non-existent. Which brings up one of its drawbacks, and I only found this out after getting deep into the plant. The sap is extremely caustic because it has high concentrations of calcium oxalate crystals. And I found out that I am extremely sensitive to its sap. So when I’m handling or managing vines and get it on me, I am basically allergic. But because its sap is so nasty, pretty much nothing even tries to go after it. Its also got an extremely thick cuticle, so it pretty much doesn’t suffer from any kind of mold or fungal infestations (haustoria would have a hell of a time penetrating it). One time, I had a vine get what looked like some kind of phytopthera (probably), but I isolated it and discarded the soil it was in. I’ve since replanted a vine in that spot without issue. The only other issue I have is that my barn cats treat the vines like a jungle gym, and chase geckos among the vines. Sometimes because of this they break.

How can you tell when to harvest them?

So I was kind of trying to figure that out and then I ended up making the post. So its pretty much on the order of 8-9 months after fertilizing the flowers, is when its time to harvest. And that split bean would basically be un-sellable. Its a grade A bean in length, but a grade A bean can have no imperfections. But that split is my indication that now I need to start looking every day for harvest-able beans (pods really, but we call them beans). If you look at the final image, I think it shows two pods, side by side, with a distinct ‘whale tail’ looking splotch on them. I think for me, once they develop that splotch, thats going to be my indication that its time to harvest. You might notice that it looks like both pods had already started to abscisse where they were connected to the rachis? I think if they’ve begun to abscisse, its time to start taking them. And the first hint you’ll get that its time is having one pod split. Now that its time to harvest, I’ll basically harvest in the same order I pollinated. Vanilla orchids only flower 1 flower per raceme per day, and only for a few hours in the morning. If you miss pollination, that flower is dead and you won’t get a pod there. Harvest basically follows the same order as pollination, so from here in, I’ll harvest a bean or two a day for several weeks. Since I don’t have enough to warrant processing every day, I’ll freeze what I get (to stop any additional maturation), and then when I have enough. Its a boiling water bath for 4 minutes (to completely stop any more activity from the abscisic acid)., then ferment them for 4 days, then a slow curing process for 4-8 weeks.