• IninewCrow@lemmy.caEnglish
    9·
    3 days ago

    High precision cannon modified to launch pizza boxes … then just park it about half a kilometer in front of the building.

    • Skua@kbin.earth
      19·
      3 days ago
      • Launch a ball of dough against a designated target at the correct speed for it to flatten out on impact
      • Borrow modern artillery targeting systems so that a ball of toppings impacts the same spot a moment afterwards
      • Fire a HESH round to cook it
      • IninewCrow@lemmy.caEnglish
        9·
        3 days ago

        Communications personnel receive order … they quickly process it to the gun crew

        Gun crew load first round: … 15TH FLOOR!!! APARTMENT 1567!!! KITCHEN WINDOW SECOND TO RIGHT!!! … FIRE!!!

        Gun recoils … crew prepare second round: … SAUCE!!! … PEPPERONI!!! HAM!!! PEPPERS!!! ANCHOVIES!!! … CHEESE!!! EXTRA CHEESE!!! … (prepared round is loaded into gun) … FIRE!!!

        Gun recoils … crew load HESH round: … COMPLETE THE ORDER!!! … FIRE!!!

        Gun crew grows silent for a moment … there is a distant explosion of an apartment completely blow out on the 15th floor.

        • notabot@lemm.ee
          3·
          3 days ago

          Sure, they blew a hole in the building, but the pizza was perfectly cooked, so mission accomplished.

          • IninewCrow@lemmy.caEnglish
            1·
            2 days ago

            Charred remains of an apartment, body parts and bone fragments all over the place, broken glass, shattered furniture, lots of smoke and some fire, water works spraying water everywhere … and in the midst of the carnage is a perfectly cooked pizza sitting on the floor.

      • DannyBoy@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        3·
        3 days ago

        Like the guy that cooked a chicken by slapping it repeatedly, somebody needs to see what speeds firing a ball of dough against a wall will get it crispy brown.