As a shut in with social anxiety and very introverted I’m wondering how to find friends now that I got better. Basically starting from zero since I know nobody in my city so I’m wondering if someone has some experience with finding friends as lonely anxious introvert and just how other people find friends.
I made friends with people I work with.
Same. I’ve been having a blast for the last year with three other ppl from work: we go for coffees, play board games every two weeks, chat in messages.
Haven’t been so happy with my social life since, like, ever.
That is a horrible idea. You should always keep your work and personal life separate.
This is dumb as hell. Why wouldn’t you want to be make friends with the people you are going to be spending nearly a third of your time with?
Work friendships can get messy. Conflicts, promotions, or job changes can strain the relationship and create awkwardness or lead to unfair situations. Additionally, you never want to give your coworkers dirt that they can use against you. It’s safer to keep things professional and make friends outside of work.
It’s safer to not do a lot of stuff. Soooo many things everyone does every day “can get messy.” But I’ll be damned if I spend a third of my life being a work robot. Granted, I’m not in a cut-throat, dog eat dog work environment like I imagine a lot of folks are, but it’s bad blanket advice to say don’t make friends at work. I work with two other guys, we all do the same thing, we all have similar interests, and we would all be super stoked for each other if any of us got a promotion.
Good advice: Just use your brain. Yeah, if that bitch Carol from accounting is gunning for the same position as you, probably don’t tell her how hard you were partying last weekend with the bosses daughter. But if Dave from IT is talking about that super sweet video game you’ve also been playing, get in there and have a fun chat with Dave. Get his screen name. Kill some zombies with Dave.
Just pay attention, read the room, and think before you speak. You can definitely have work friends in any work environment if you don’t make dumb decisions.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. I resolve conflicts as they appear, personal or work related, they are a part of any relationship. Promotions - I am a dev, not sure what promotions would be relevant, and how that would be a problem. Job changes - many of my friends that I’ve made at work through the years changed jobs and we’re still friends - I don’t see a problem here either? And what dirt? How would they use it? If I told them I am tired lately, they would told the boss that I am slacking or something? And the boss would probably just think they are a weirdo to keep eye on? Maybe you work in a very toxic environment, I have never had any issues.
I agree, while I’m super chummy with my work mates and love them to death. I would never in a million years hang out with any of them…