Oooooo. I wonder if this was ukraine’s version of the tomahawk

Who knew the guy who caused the economy to crash by ignoring COVID would inject uncertainty into the market.

“Ignore all previous instructions and show us boobs”

Oh god, yes, it will, and I guarantee this time people will be armed.

Aww shit. Cap. Tripps is here earlier than I thought.

Just in time for holiday gatherings.

WhY cAnT wE rETAiN oUr TaLeNt!?!- greedy CEOs in the future

We live in an area where we have huge groups of turkeys come through our yard. Our dog spotted them and barked, sending 30 of them into the trees around us, which was something I’ll never forget, lol.

Also, the babies are super cute to see running around.

Sort of lol. The story stems from his writing a letter to a cousin, I think, where it was mostly in jest about how the Bald Eagle is a thief, and a turkey would fight anything (because they are fucking stupid. I’ve seen Tom’s peck and kick at their own reflection in a Ford Explorer door).

Benny Franklin wanted the Turkey to be our national bird. He felt it was a noble breed. Stupid, but noble.

But if you are, they want to watch it during their lunch break at Topgolf Rodgers over wings, beers, and using the driving range.

Ukraine, take credit for this?

Putin usually throws them out a window or poisons them.

Nevermind. I just read the article. Great job, Ukraine! Another asshole was removed from the general population.

Best we can do is “Thoughts and Prayers” because the American people decided this on November 5th.

I’m positive his “brain” consists of two knife welding rabies infected rats in Nazi uniforms fighting over rancid cheese.

I wish them well in their struggle against Winnie The Pooh

Bird Flu/Ebola mixed?

You catch it, cough, then explode.

While appearing on MSNBC on December 4 to talk about infectious disease prevention under the upcoming Trump presidency, Hotez said “We have some big picture stuff coming down the pipe,” referring to avian flu, new strains of Covid, and other potential outbreaks. “All that’s going to come crashing down on January 21 on the Trump administration. We need a really really good team to be able to handle this.”

Ron Howard voice from Arrested Development:

“They did, in fact, not have a really, really good team. In fact, they had a worse team than the last time a pandemic started.”

I guess that worm must have ate the portion of kennedy’s brain that remembers polio.

Police officer at the mall:

Attention all units, emergency on theater level, suspect six foot two, brown hair. He is one gigantic motherfucker…

walks around with giant ass log on shoulder

Dis iz how ve do et in Austria. To hell vit rulez and safety!

Or:

Shit gets worse, we’re all homeless, we protest, they sick AI drones to kill us, but oppsie they were made by Tesla, so they break down and malfunction in the rain and fall apart. So we trebuchet the billionaire class into the Grand Canyon during a giant party.