Thanks for the suggestion :)
I ended up going for the Motorola Moto G85 earlier today. It ticks all the boxes, plus my wife decided to tell me after I’d been looking at lots of different phones that she uses a Motorola in work, and likes the style >.<
If I could ‘cheat’ and say ‘I know every language in the world’, and that included programming languages and things like scientific notation as a language, I’d take that in a heartbeat. If not, I’d take programming, as at least then I can create things and make money.
If speaking every language included dead and forgotten languages too though, then it would be a very tough choice.