If it was a snake, it would have bit you

“Try putting them in the air, Friar.”

“I’m the shit I’m fartin’, I don’t know how to potty”

Kodak Black - Drowning

1. Stand upright
2. Lean way over
3. Bend far at waist
4. Kiss ass goodbye

As long as 80% of emissions are created by 1,000 or so giant companies, all with their respective governments captured, there’s really not much you can (legally) do.

I heard 100% of dead people had it in their bloodstream during their autopsy

As an IT guy, i feel the opposite. I fixed it in ten minutes because I have ten years of experience. My hourly rate goes up because I spend so little time fixing the problem, if I charged any less, I couldn’t earn a living.

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch used to be $0.89. Not 99, EIGHTY-NINE cents. Now it’s like $3.79. Used to be my favorite thing on the menu, but there’s no way I’m paying that much for it now. I tolerated $0.99, $1.09, even $1.19 but $1.29 is where I said “no”. Haven’t had one since.

The McDouble was only created because the double cheeseburger used to be $0.99 and they decided that was too cheap. The McDouble is just a double cheeseburger with one slice of cheese instead of two.

Oh, no.
Anyway…

Mario Kart 64 - Choco Canyon

Commando, Risk of Rain 2. Canonically, I’m trapped in a simulacrum of Petrichor, a planet inhabited by creatures who regard me as an invader. Even though I can “escape” and make my way back to Earth, every time I die (no matter where or how), I awaken back in my escape pod, crash-landing on Petrichor.

I can pretty consistently get the ending where Commando escapes, so I guess my strat is to escape to Earth and enjoy the simulacrum for as long as I can before dying again. Canonically, this happens at least once, so there’s no reason it couldn’t be done repeatedly. Perhaps not the most fulfilling existence, but the best that can be achieved under the circumstances, I think.

The alternative is to obliterate myself in a portal or be killed by the denizens of Petrichor and start over again anyway. May as well have a few years of “peace” and “happiness” between spawns.

Fediverse: “Let girls have fun!”

Also Fediverse: “Unless a man would enjoy it, then ew, ick.”

I’ll team up with you, let’s give her another pair of twins

Make of that what you will.

It’s definitely the crunch for me. Wouldn’t mind the flavor if it wasn’t for that.

Brussel sprouts, but roasted in a pan with oil
Asparagus, prepared the same way
Raw radishes
Raw celery, sometimes with peanut butter
Raw broccoli
Lemon slices that come with your water at the restaurant
Grapefruit

I uploaded nearly 15,000 MP3s

Just put those on an old mp3 player

Also, just want to point out that the ovulation period is only 24-48 hours. Make of that what you will.

Not unpopular; objectively wrong.

Dude’s taking the piss, right? Please tell me this is satire