Yes: “advice”, like “help”, never gets an S.

Seen times were world is going I would consider about not having children. And if I were 18 now, I would advise myself to trust my guts. I would not force myself to be liked by others and just go through life like a tank following my self consciously. To get to conscious decisions I would do massive self healing ,meditation.
And for more practical things- move body, eat well, inform yourself about off grid lifestyle, get skills for not depending on others and I would study social behavior/ relationships.
You are already on goof path, just by raising questions and self-reflecting. Best of luck, young human being.

I’m 29, so not too much older than you so take all this with a grain of salt. Ive been very fortunate in my life to have good friends and family to support me and jobs up until now were not super hard to get. My life is likely very different from yours.

Enjoy the little things man. Find friends that can be family, don’t pay attention to the entire world all the time like on social media. Hell, I barely use Lemmy and completely got off other social media. Its been a good choice for me.

Find a decent job that pays the bills and figure out what you like. You dont have to figure everything out right away. Things change, you’ll change. Enjoy the ride. Thats what I’m trying to do.

Also dont quit a job before having another lined up. Its not worth it, it may feel like it is in the moment, but its not.

Start strength training now. Doesn’t matter if you’re man or woman, fat or skinny, strong or weak. Do it, it will save you from health problems later, which might be as early as your thirties. You don’t have to go to the gym if you don’t want to, look into calisthenics.

What country are you in?

But I will give a few pieces of general advice: if food delivery is popular in your country, do not use it. Ever. It is a notorious money drain basically no matter where you are in the country. If you want to pick up food, force yourself to go out and buy it yourself. Or buy frozen foods for when you’re too tired to cook.

I did the maths for one of my friends who was essentially addicted to food delivery apps (ordering almost every day) and discovered that he had spent almost a third of his monthly earnings on food delivery. Cutting this habit essentially singlehandedly fixed his budget problems and allowed him to start paying down his credit card debt.

Which leads me to my second point of advice: don’t get into credit card debt. It is extremely painful to crawl out of.

Wear sunscreen. Seriously. Every single day. 365. Rain or shine. Sounds like a joke, but just wear sunscreen. In 20-30 years you won’t regret it.

Regularly invest into a broad market index fund. At your age a few bucks a month will compound and you’ll be a millionaire before you know it. It gets a lot harder the longer you wait, so just do it.

One thing that has gotten weirdly apparent to me as I’ve gotten older is that I’ve always taken care of myself, most people my age have not and it’s apparent. I have no real aches and pains or physical ailments, when most people my age have a laundry list of them. People always peg me for 10-15 years younger than I am. Exercise, eat well, drink water, avoid baking in the sun, avoid drugs and drinking in excess, learn to meditate, (wear sunscreen). It sounds like a lot, but I promise you won’t regret it.

Im older and likely not from your country given the arrainged marriage thing. If your young and healthy you have a lot to possibly experience. The world right now is not great and its not likely to get better overall so our best bet is greater quality of life overall. Better equity. Its seems to be going the opposite direction. Personally because of all this I decided to not have children. My wife and I decided it was not happening ironically about 20 years ago so if we had not decided that and had a kid they would be your age. Alls I can say is even if things are getting worse and continue to there is things to enjoy in the moment. Enjoyable foods. Being out anywhere in nature and walking around outdoors anywhere if the air is clean. Music. Media. Conversation. Reading. I personally find cognition itself to be enjoyable. Simple things. I personally would advise not having kids if you can avoid it. Remember in an arrainged situation the other person may be no more enthused with it than you are. I also understand not wanting to contribute to this mess. There is a kind of freedom to not seeing much of a future. When I was young I studdied math and science and looked to a career in academia. That was from a perspective of a progressive march of history. Now I would look to get by for the time in a way that is not enriching anyone else. communes and such. sorta wish I would have found and been part of dancing rabbit in my youth. anyway. can you find enjoyment in the moment. I believe you can. if so then enjoy as you can. Now im not saying be a hedonist. Simple pleasures that do not take from anyone or anything really and are about living. Here is a song that maybe explains the feeling/thoughts im trying to get to. It does for me but if it tranlates to another listening I don’t know. https://youtu.be/hORkxMdNnkA?list=RDhORkxMdNnkA

Hey,

Many the things you’re feeling, I felt too when I was your age. Off course things might be very different, depending on the country you live in and the culture there, but still I think there are things that apply to people everywhere.

First off I would try to dismiss the idea that life can be planned or figured out, or that you should know what to do with it. Of course its nice to have goals and dreams but the older I get, i realize that all the older people I thought had it figured out are just making it up as they go too. Looking at former classmates now, I was always jealous of the ones that knew exactly what they wanted to be whereas I didn’t really know and still don’t. But many of them pursued those dreams only to find themselves somewhere completely different, so don’t worry about that.

Getting a job, even a bad one is not necessarily as bad as you might think. The upside being that they often attract a lot of other people your age who are going through the same thing. So even if the work might kinda suck, you might have more fun than you think and meet a lot of people. And even a little financial independence can feel very good.

I would also very much encourage you to find hobbies you like. There are many things that you can do on a small budget, and since you’re posting here you have access to the internet and a wealth of knowledge that comes with that. Personally I enjoy photography, and you definitely don’t need fancy gear to do that. I also enjoy sewing and woodworking. In general anything creative where you can see the result of your effort can be really satisfying. Don’t make it about being the best or making it your career. Do it for yourself. Often we feel pressure to accomplish things by society or our parents etc. but don’t underestimate the pressure and expectations you might put on yourself without knowing.

Having a hobby and achieving something there can give you a lot of pride and satisfaction that will make you worry less about all those other things. Its also a great way to meet other people too.

Another thing I wouldn’t underestimate is exercise. Try not to focus about looks or worry about your body but the tiredness after exercise is also a great way to feel accomplishment and to see a progress when you might feel like you’re standing still elsewhere. Also a healthy body will give you more energy to tackle other things.

I know a lot of this advice is a bit generic and easier said than done, but in general Id just advise you to give things a chance and try as many things as possible without worrying about what comes next. Its a bit like hiking lokking at the mountain on the horizon us very daunting, but just walking is not that hard and no matter which road you take after a while you will look back and see the place you started as far away as that mountain.

The main thing I’ve experienced in life so far is that I would never have predicted where I would end up next and that things change all the time. As much as you think you know yourself, what you can and cant do or whats realistic for you to achieve, you are probably wrong and will be surprised 10 years from now.

I hope that helps and I wish you all the best!

Make a plan. Even if you think it’s impossible, have a goal of friends and a happy life, whatever that looks like to you. Ask yourself if you need the move away to do that, where to get the money from. It’s easier to work a shitty job if you are just saving to get out.

If you think your family will get mad at you, don’t tell them your plan, it’s yours and you don’t need anyone to make you feel bad for wanting a happy life.

By the way, plans never work as they are supposed to, but keep the goal in your head and be flexible with what happens.