I blame society for telling me to use drugs. I went along with it to fit in. I don’t care about fitting in anymore, but I don’t think it was my fault for partaking given the social atmosphere. So why do I have to suffer these dreams that torment me about it? Do I have unresolved trauma related to it or some shit?
PS. I am straight edge now, I haven’t used drugs in a long time and don’t think about them while I’m awake at all. I prefer to be sober minded. The only part they play in my life is in occasional dreams apparently, which are usually negative and unpleasant.
That could all be true, but I should clarify when I said I felt like crap I meant physically (mentally as well, sure). As in, how you feel if you’re really sick and unwell. Nausea, queaziness, headache, pain, lightheaded, etc.
Maybe your brain gave your body a hangover, I once got sick from reading a very vivid description of how a sinus infection starts. Like reading it convinced my body it was happening. The only sinus infection I have ever had. Or maybe you were already getting sick so your mind associated the feeling with drinking. Mind and body are so connected.
Hope you are feeling better now.