When I was 13-14 I had this best friend, named Amber. I was terribly gay, and she dreadfully lesbian. Neither one of us had admitted it to the other, or even really ourselves. But there was a connection, and everyone just assumed we were dating. Including her dad, who spent most of his time overseas. Former military, and now he’s over there with some private fucking army or some shit. Absolutely terrifying man. Divorced from her mom, but stays with them whenever he’s stateside.
Anyway, her mom had met me once or twice, but never in the context of us dating, which we had basically decided to just go along with. Her dad came home one week, and I was so freaked out about meeting him, because I’d heard all these stories. I went over to get her, and her dad told me to come inside.
Dude was freaky, kind of an asshole, but no over protective dad shit.
Then her mom came in the room, dad asked her if she’d met “Amber’s boyfriend”
Mom was like, “yeah, but he didn’t tell me he was dating my daughter”
And then she looks me dead in the eye, and with witnesses tells 14 year old me “listen, tubby, if she ends up pregnant I’ll fuck your ass with her father’s rifle so hard you’ll spit bullets”
Her mother is so much more terrifying than her father. Super Catholic, super scary, super Chancla energy
This was long before I was alive, but apparently when my sister committed the act for the first time, she came home to my mom, who took a look at her and said “ohhh, she had seeeexxxxxxx!”
I’m not really sure which approach seems preferable.
Oh I have. I had a coworker who used to brag that when his daughter had a date, he would open his garage door and start cleaning his guns so the kid would see him.
my uncle had some beaver testicles hanging in his basement and he’d tell his daughter’s boyfriends that they were the balls of all her exes who tried anything.
my dad sat in the living room cleaning his pistol on his lap while interrogating me about my boyfriend when i was 21 and on my own.
This is the first time I’ve come across this statement… Do dads in America actually say that?
it, or a variation of it, has been in some movies/tv.
never had a date’s dad say anything remotely similar to me though.
When I was 13-14 I had this best friend, named Amber. I was terribly gay, and she dreadfully lesbian. Neither one of us had admitted it to the other, or even really ourselves. But there was a connection, and everyone just assumed we were dating. Including her dad, who spent most of his time overseas. Former military, and now he’s over there with some private fucking army or some shit. Absolutely terrifying man. Divorced from her mom, but stays with them whenever he’s stateside.
Anyway, her mom had met me once or twice, but never in the context of us dating, which we had basically decided to just go along with. Her dad came home one week, and I was so freaked out about meeting him, because I’d heard all these stories. I went over to get her, and her dad told me to come inside.
Dude was freaky, kind of an asshole, but no over protective dad shit.
Then her mom came in the room, dad asked her if she’d met “Amber’s boyfriend”
Mom was like, “yeah, but he didn’t tell me he was dating my daughter”
And then she looks me dead in the eye, and with witnesses tells 14 year old me “listen, tubby, if she ends up pregnant I’ll fuck your ass with her father’s rifle so hard you’ll spit bullets”
Her mother is so much more terrifying than her father. Super Catholic, super scary, super Chancla energy
This was long before I was alive, but apparently when my sister committed the act for the first time, she came home to my mom, who took a look at her and said “ohhh, she had seeeexxxxxxx!”
I’m not really sure which approach seems preferable.
The second one, you know where the parents genuinely love their kids
Oh I have. I had a coworker who used to brag that when his daughter had a date, he would open his garage door and start cleaning his guns so the kid would see him.
Was he Rodney Atkins?
I had an uncle say shit like this to me. Weird family.
my uncle had some beaver testicles hanging in his basement and he’d tell his daughter’s boyfriends that they were the balls of all her exes who tried anything.
my dad sat in the living room cleaning his pistol on his lap while interrogating me about my boyfriend when i was 21 and on my own.
this stuff happens and it’s gross