The house next door to me is going up for sale soon and I’d like to delay that process as much as possible. What would be the most annoying music I could play when prospective buyers are next door?
Reggae can be fun, especially to dance to, but when heard through a wall, you mostly hear the bass and all reggae has the same bass track. It’s almost comical, like that beat is a requirement of the genre. After hours of reggae you’ll wanna smash that stereo.
Alright. Y’all ever hear about the shaggs?
A dad was told by a fortune teller that his yet-unborn kids were destined for musical stardom. After that, the dad had no choice but to force his eventual kids into a band.
These kids had no musical training. No sense of rhythm, no sense of pitch.
Their released music is the auditory equivalent of a child’s crayon drawing hung on the fridge. It’s astoundingly disjointed. It’s all wrong. Frank Zappa said they’re better than the Beatles. SOMEONE out there likes screamo. Some folks out there like bagpipes. Then what happens? Your neighbor loves blasting screamo. You’ve played yourself. Unless Frank Zappa is moving in, you’d be hard pressed to find a potential buyer that like the shaggs.
When German people go to hell, or skiing, they are forced into little tents, served shitty overpriced beer, and are subject to repeated blows to their ears by a type of parasitic earworm whispered fearfully only in dark circles as “schlagermusik”.
Once exposed to it, it eats into their brain and gets behind their eyeballs, forcing them to wear manic grins, and tap tables to the weak, incoherent, barely thought out beats drumming mercilessly into what’s left of their soul.
Oktoberfest?
Let him who hath understanding
Reckon the Month of the Beast
For it is a Human Month…
Years after leaving the German part of Switzerland I still get A!-tem!-los! in my head out of nowhere sometimes :(
Oo-la-pa-loo
I was going to say polka music but this is close enough
When German people go to hell, or skiing, they are forced into little tents, served shitty overpriced beer, and are subject to repeated blows to their ears
That’s pretty accurate, actually. Same goes for “Apres Ski”, which is the same but more annoying and sexist.
Christian Rock
There’s a McDonald’s down the block from me that plays nothing but Christian music all the damn time. I honestly feel bad for the employees.
Oml can’t stand that shet polluting the airwaves
I’m just going to say Nightcore.
I get that Nightcore has an audience, but what makes it annoying for me is when I am trying to search for an obscure song and think I’ve found it, only to realize that it’s yet another low-effort nightcore remix.
I’m not certain about the most annoying, but this song is pretty bad
Exactly what I expected. Saved me from posting it, thank you.
Exactly what I expected to find in the comments
Thank you for this
A low pitched hum that they don’t even notice until they leave and appreciate the silence when they’re away from it.
Calm down satan.
(Top answer though)
i already have tinnitus; i literally can’t sleep without some noise to block it out.
Mine drove me crazy for the first few years. Now i notice it a lot less. Sometimes if i put that ear on my pillow the wooshing drowns out the screeching.
The dreaded B note
Every Christmas song ever.
“Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney is the worst song of all time and I’m willing to die on this hill
I submit that these songs aren’t necessarily terrible but terribly overplayed to the point that they’re painful.
I swear half of Mariah Carey’s fortune is Christmas songs alone.
Also the whole “Boomers spent their entire lives and our entire lives trying to re-live their own childhood Christmases,” since the majority of original Christmas songs are from that period.
Also some people love Christmas music so this could backfire.
Just play loud ass black metal. The music doesn’t have to be bad, It just needs to scare normies.
Edit: I thought of the most annoying music ever. Crunkcore! Play some Blood on the Dancefloor and people will fuck off to avoid listening to that shit.
Oh man, you weren’t kidding. That’s just objectively bad.
Right? It’s the fucking worst.
Care to elaborate why?
They want to dissuade buyers by being a conspicuously noisy and annoying neighbor to the point that the house sits empty for a while.
Which, like, if your first thought is to do this, maybe you actually are an annoying neighbor and you’re doing everyone a favor by letting them know.
Hey at least they’re open with it. I’d have love to have known that my neighbours were cunts before I’d move in. Sometimes a simple sign short of a burning poop bag is a nice olive branch.
They are going to only get neighbors that also suck, and since it has to sell lower it will lower their own home value.
OP is really punching their own nutsack here.
Family member wants to buy it and we want to dissuade other potential buyers. Plus the old owners are dicks so fuck ‘em.
Sounds like you guys are the dicks honestly.
The only way to defeat a dick is a bigger, floppier, girthier dick
Hey uh, this plan can get you sued under tortious interference. So remember to not brag about it. Also much better way is just to take up a noisy hobby like woodworking, drumming or fixing motorbikes.
I’ve been wrong before but I don’t see this post linking back to me.
Reggaeton
Cam here to say this. The beat was catchy the first time I heard it but it is so annoying when they repeat the same thing 200 times in a song. Not creative at all .
This. Most annoying thing I’ve ever heard.
This is the one, OP. Enjoy it while it lasts, some day this stuff will be restricted by treaty inshallah.
Baby Shark
I was thinking this one, thanks!
There’s always the risk that people who visit the house next door are into whatever annoying music you’re playing and end up moving there and blasting it for the rest of your life
I’ll raise “Sales Call Abyss”, a hold music made for torturing telemarketers if you have access to your work’s phone exchange
Bagpipes
