Your example ends with the man realizing that he actually did care about the hotel when in reality he would have probably said something like “oh well, we’re only going to be here a few hours and we’ll be unconscious for most of them”. That is what it means when someone says they don’t care. They’re not hiding their true feelings from you just to be annoying.
If you are tired of making decisions tell the other person to book the hotel. Most laid back people will be fine with that. Just don’t complain if that ends with you not getting what you wanted.
I have actually thought it might be misinterpreted because it’s vague in that sentence - no, I don’t mean that the guy thinks the hotel sucks. He still doesn’t care. But his wife thinks it sucks and she is solely responsible for her choice. In a partnership.
Most likely, when confronted with her dislike, he would not be comforting her like “honey, it’s ok, you picked a nice hotel, I don’t think it’s bad at all”, but just be like “look, it doesn’t matter, we’ll just sleep here”. Basically invalidating her feelings and experiences.
The point I am trying to make is: if you are in a committed relationship you sometimes have to care, have an opinion, help with decisions, even if it was something that you usually don’t care about. But saying “I don’t care about the outcome of something that you care about” is definitely neither kind nor loving and devastating in the long run.
Your example ends with her upset, with nobody to blame but herself and nobody to commiserate with, while her husband is taking it easy and refusing to empathise.
Being content despite less than ideal circumstances is not a character flaw. Deferring to a partner with stronger preferences is not laziness. Stop conflating actions you don’t understand with bad behavior.
Your example ends with the man realizing that he actually did care about the hotel when in reality he would have probably said something like “oh well, we’re only going to be here a few hours and we’ll be unconscious for most of them”. That is what it means when someone says they don’t care. They’re not hiding their true feelings from you just to be annoying.
If you are tired of making decisions tell the other person to book the hotel. Most laid back people will be fine with that. Just don’t complain if that ends with you not getting what you wanted.
I have actually thought it might be misinterpreted because it’s vague in that sentence - no, I don’t mean that the guy thinks the hotel sucks. He still doesn’t care. But his wife thinks it sucks and she is solely responsible for her choice. In a partnership.
Most likely, when confronted with her dislike, he would not be comforting her like “honey, it’s ok, you picked a nice hotel, I don’t think it’s bad at all”, but just be like “look, it doesn’t matter, we’ll just sleep here”. Basically invalidating her feelings and experiences.
The point I am trying to make is: if you are in a committed relationship you sometimes have to care, have an opinion, help with decisions, even if it was something that you usually don’t care about. But saying “I don’t care about the outcome of something that you care about” is definitely neither kind nor loving and devastating in the long run.
Your example ends with her upset, with nobody to blame but herself and nobody to commiserate with, while her husband is taking it easy and refusing to empathise.
Being content despite less than ideal circumstances is not a character flaw. Deferring to a partner with stronger preferences is not laziness. Stop conflating actions you don’t understand with bad behavior.
Indeed. If you’re fussy, you decide. Still want me to decide, sure, but I am going to ignore complaints.