1. Electric toothbrush. When I don’t have it with me, brushing manually is such a chore. A device performs better than I do and I embrace it.

2. Prescription glasses. I remember getting to look at a tree with improved sight, and it was wonderful.

3. Air purifier. Has really helped my allergies.

Definitely, we use the Imperial system after all.

Beans is the magical fruit

I get to lay in a bed by myself, all of my life. It’s fantastic!

8th grade. A girl tells me in the presence of classmates, “I love youuuu.” I just think it’s a joke/prank so I reply, “I’m too young!” Later she privately asks me if I meant that. It didn’t click for me until high school.

Fresh out of an all-boys high school, so no interaction with girls since 8th grade. Freshman year college, fall semester. Classmate says she’s cold and hooks her arm in mine on the walk to lecture. This happens every day. Another classmate asks if we’re dating, and I say no, she’s just cold.

Same semester, same class, in a lab section, it’s warm. I ask my lab partner (different from arm girl) doesn’t she feel hot, why not take off her sweater. She looks at my and says, “I’m not wearing anything underneath.” Next day in lecture she’s dresssd up really nice and sits next to me.

Every day in this lecture these 3 girls sit with me. My high school buddy who’s also in the class tells me, while we’re studying, he thinks it’s hilarious that I’m surrounded by girls. I shrug it off.

I’d like to buy a vowel

Jesus was the Lion of Judah, and he had a pr*stitute wash his feet with her hair and expensive perfume. The best of lions.

It’s obscene for two lions to mate, but it’s biblical for Lot’s daughters to get him drunk and sleep with him to preserve the family line. Ok.

BOOP

Studies show that 100% of people who injected high doses of bleach didn’t die of COVID. Checkmate, jabbers.

/s

And the fourth panel.

I don’t even remember :(

College freshman flying back home for the summer. Not used to flying. Got to my gate about half hour before boarding. Hungry. Went to closest restaurant a couple gates away, got a burrito and ate at a table while listening to music with headphones. Lost track of time. That burrito had my full attention. Missed all the overhead calls for me. Plane had departed by the time I casually walked back to my gate.

Ruth’s Chris. Best ribeye I’ve ever had at a chain restaurant. Also the most expensive. It’s the only restaurant ribeye that has never disappointed me.

I always catch myself about to abbreviate it DTF, and then I type out the entire name.

Let’s take a ride to flavor town

I clicked just to see. You’re absolutely right.

That includes birds with arms, yeah?

Alright, I’ll come clean, I sang that out loud.