oh, I wasn’t trying to be dickish about it, but I was pointing out that fighting a Canada goose is much different than fighting a pelican. a pelican, there seem to be multiple ways to hold it off without really hurting it, with a goose, the way they attack you can really only go for the head or neck which probably means you’re going to kill it.

I was very high at the time so the rest is pretty much rambling.

I’m suggesting that you try contributing to a community before being an asshole in it. the first rule that will help you there is reading the name of a community before being a dickwad.

I’m scared of needlessly hurting animals. I couldn’t have made that more plain. this isn’t reddit, you don’t just wade in insulting people over things you have no understanding of.

society as a whole has agreed that “yo momma” jokes are not actually about the other party’s mother. people like you who break that convention gets this

then why do they keep trying to eat things that are bigger than them

they couldn’t be naturally offended by bananas, as what we recognize as a banana is completely man-made. they must be unnaturally offended by it, or we bred the banana in such a way that it looks exactly like something that used to be offended by

probably pelican dildos.

I deal with a lot of unleashed dogs around here going after my dog so I’m already carrying pepper spray. it’s too bad avians are immune to it.

actually it’s not THAT bad. pepper spraying a seabird would probably end up with it drowning because it can’t see where it’s flying

this person was obviously seeing your mother last night

no but I can print a picture of one

well hold on, a Canada goose can get up to 14 lb easily, the brown pelican tops out at 6.9 lb, and doesn’t have a cobra neck so your only options aren’t attack the head & neck or do nothing.

like if there’s a group of kids around, I’d rather they go home with a story about how I got beaten up by a goose then the trauma of the memory of a pudgy middle-aged man smashing a goose’s head in front of them. I remember when I was like five and Animal Control had to come to my school and shoot a raccoon because they thought it had rabies, I got pretty emotional about that. heck, here I am talking about it more than 30 years later.

plus if anybody records it, no matter how much anybody acknowledges they don’t want to be bitten by a goose, I’m still going to be branded a heartless goose killer and probably doxxed. there’s a lot at play here

oh look, Johnny No-Posts has an opinion on somebody’s question in the No Stupid Questions community. I don’t go to the Pinochet fan groups and tell you that you can’t make helicopter memes, learn some basic internet etiquette.

idk but in this neighborhood, probably

i dunno man, use your imagination. maybe I wandered too close to its nest

during the first women’s march I wore a shirt that said “nobody for president” and everybody loved it including the counterprotesters

it should be like “I’m not planning on fighting a pelican”

you could try actually reading the source yourself.

and who the hell am I supposed to trust about Catholic rules if not a freaking archbishop?

In the US, the USCCB (that is, the bishop’s conference for the United States) has ruled that Catholics should abstain from meat every Friday outside of Lent but may substitute that for some other suitable form of penance. What that penance is isn’t exactly delineated. here’s an archdiocese saying the same thing . I’m not catholic, so if you want to argue what Catholics are and are not allowed to do, please take it up with the archbishops and archdiocese.

the first fact came from the Bristol Zoo, and the second from Archbishop Bernard Hebda.

there’s one of a Holstein cow successfully eating baby chickens.

capybara get eaten in the wild all the time. average lifespan of a wild one is 4 years, and the primary cause of death is predation. they can live 10 years in captivity

their main form of defense is reproducing about as quickly as rabbits. they are sometimes competition for grazing land, but South Americans usually farm them if they’re a pest, rather than exterminating them, as they are very good meat animals. the Catholic Church classifies them as fish, so the more Catholic of community is, the more of them they’re eating (Catholics aren’t allowed to eat meat on friday, and somebody along the way decided fish weren’t meat. it wasn’t unusual to write the Vatican with a description vague enough to get something declared a fish; both the capybara and beaver were classified as fish because the people submitting the request just emphasized the amount of their lives they spend in the water), and there’s a medicinal grease produced from their skin that they use like petroleum jelly.

it’s a long-standing tradition. all official pelican fights must be a surprise

good to know. was it like a bad, dirty paper cut?