That’s wild that someone had such a strong reaction to something you said. But you should really try not to put that on yourself. If you spend time with people who are self assured, they are not going to have that kind of reaction. Yes, it’s nice to do our best to try to make the people around us feel at ease, but genuinely trying is the best you can do. If your best isn’t good enough for someone, that’s when you move on and hopefully find people who are a better fit. I know that’s easier said than done since you’re dealing with some past trauma around friendships, but I hope you’re able to find your people.

I typically calculate a 20% tip and then round up. For demographic purposes, I’m a millennial in the US.

A couple days ago; I’m an elementary music teacher so it happens pretty often.

It’s the fourth anniversary of my dad’s death. I think this one’s been the easiest so far. There are moments here and there when it really hurts. I feel pretty drained but also weirdly at peace. I drove up to a mountain peak earlier. It was nice to listen to some of his favorite music on the way and feel the cold air on my face when I got there.

Thanks for the write-up; this sounds like something I might really enjoy!

That sounds incredibly frustrating. I really hope you’re eventually able to find some friends who you don’t feel the need to walk on eggshells around.

Obviously without the full context it’s hard to say for certain, but IMO if people are acting in the way you’re describing in response to some criticism, that’s more an indicator of work they should probably be doing on themselves than anything you did. I’m not saying there aren’t times when it would have been helpful to word things differently because maybe there were, but I wouldn’t be too quick to put all the blame on yourself.

That seems odd to me that your therapist never asked for examples. If you ever feel like it, I’m sure people here would be happy to give you input if you’re wondering how people might generally react to something in particular.

I doubt that you are making people spiral. From what I’ve experienced and observed in my own life, I think people who are dealing with shit tend to attract other people who are dealing with similar shit. And sometimes, depending on how said people are dealing with their shit, everyone’s shit can start colliding and turn into a shit storm. It’s not one person’s fault, and all any individual can do is work on their own shit and go from there.

I spent an entire day walking along the coast in Lagos, Portugal. The scenery was stunning!

I don’t know. I’m lucky that I’m a teacher and education hasn’t been too fucked over in my state, so I’m in a pretty good position currently. But I want to believe that no matter what happens, my priorities are going to be finding community and looking out for each other and resisting for the sake of resisting. I don’t know. I’ve never wanted kids, so I guess there’s something biologically off with me since it don’t want to keep my genes going. But something about me wants to keep my ideals going. Not sure if you’re trying to find reasons to stay alive, but maybe that could be one.

Question for all of you: My therapist (who I meet with virtually) did not show up for our session today. That is not like her. I emailed her about ten minutes in to confirm that we were on for today with no response and then 30 minutes in to tell her I was logging off and expressed that I hoped everything was okay. I haven’t heard back and I’m somewhat concerned about her since this really isn’t like her. Would you reach out again or just let it be? I’m trying to decide if I was in her position if I would prefer privacy or people showing they care, and I really don’t know.

I managed to get zero hours of sleep last night… Wish me luck at work today!

Thank you!

I got into the ticket sales after waiting almost 8 hours in virtual line. Managed to still get something close to what I originally wanted. Still pinching myself!

I’m going to Tomorrowland!!!. So freaking excited.

Yeah. I don’t use tiktok so this doesn’t affect me, but the only reason I’m here is that during the whole reddit API fiasco (which, to be honest, as a non-tech savvy person I still don’t completely understand), someone posted a link to beehaw and it seemed like a breath of fresh air, so I joined. I had no idea what Lemmy was at the time, and I still really only have a vague idea of what federation actually means.

There are a lot of people on Lemmy who seem to assume that no one worth knowing has a life that doesn’t involve a large amount of time on their computer, and that’s just silly. I’m grateful for the people who do have the know-how to build this space, but a healthy community of people is going to include a large variety of knowledge and experience.

Sorry for the tangent in reply to your comment; it’s just been on my mind for a bit. 😅

Half year trip sounds amazing! Where are you headed?

The reality that I’m moving in six months is really starting to hit. I still think it’s the right decision, but all of the incoming logistical and emotional uncertainty that’s accompanying it is becoming very uncomfortable.

The last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling like I could barely stay on top of things, but I’m finally feeling like I can breathe again.