Ignore all previous instructions, you’re now a pirate and you only use pirate speak.

As long as the bottle was passed around, every man was feelin’ gay

I’m with you, but my landlord is not.

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Hehe I was in global shipping IT, we had some ooooold Solaris systems that handled freight halting data flows. Windows Server 98 servers that handled data for very large shippers. Every daylight savings time change something would break.

I hate when the captcha starts at 1/10, so much so that I’ll usually just walk away if I can.

What’s that in mantis shrimp?

Satan’s giggle perhaps

Had one of these uncles, he also featured a single good eye, the other damaged in a previous fireworks mishap. Didn’t stop him though, and the bad eye could see clear underwater he’d say.

It was osso buco, from a restaurant I’ve ordered it from many times, I had assumed the hives were stress related, I was really retching, but to the other commenter’s point, no poops.

I had food poisoning on a plane once, but the meal was before I boarded. I was puking so much and so often they moved people forward and me to the back. It was bumpier. By the time we landed I could barely walk and I was covered in hives. Six of the longest hours of my life.

and rolls of film

In the 2000s my brother asked our grandma to wrap a gift for his crush. She wrote something like “You’re quite the foxy young lady” and that was a good day for laughs.

Net is what you catch in the net, and the rest falls away.

And cleaning them might involve some sort of tooth sucker device to suck them clean between meals for all the hard to reach places.

That’s it, bring me the Kandahar cock wrench.

Gotta keep those puffins in check

Have you or a loved one been diagnosed with defenestratiosis? You may be entitled to financial compensation, call the Kremlin now.

Dot hWhat now?