I bought myself a new name on impulse.

I had been joking about considering taking that name on and off my whole life, but didn’t expect the name change approval papers to show up a couple of weeks after a bender.

Turns out joking about stuff for a long time can just rewire your brain, and I’m actually really happy with my new name.

I haven’t read the book, but I think there is a big difference between a flawed character and a flawed message.

Like: Is it just that the flawed character is saying that other girls are shallow and leeches onto popular boys without having anything to offer, or is the book/story/author agreeing and implying it with how the other female characters act when not observed through that character or by never having that flawed presumption challenged?

A character having internalised misogyny and mood swings can be them clearly being torn between their fear of abandonment and their love or attraction because they are a flawed character written very well, or it can be lazy writing with no clear character understanding or reason for their erratic changes, depending on how its done.

Some of my favourite pieces of media is with characters I would absolutely hate in real life, or who are deeply flawed but understandable and/or not rewarded for it.

Attraction is not love, not enough for a relationship.

She can tell that you don’t care about her enough, but since youre in a relationship you say that you do… so she must be really confused and suffering because she either denies the validity of your relationship or denies what she knows is true about your lack of care for her. Should she trust you or her own senses, you know…

Surely you can see how mean it is to put someone through that? To trap her in a relationship where you don’t want to be her actual partner and love all of her?

I would like to know how much time you actually spend with your girlfriend, because from what I see here… yeah. You’re not being a good partner.

She tells you she want to be more of a priority and get more time and attention from you, and your solution is to tell her she can get time with you when your actual priority (Max) is busy. That’s exactly the issue - you choose Max over her when there is a choice, and only choose her when there are no “better” opinions because Max is busy.

Not to mention choosing TV over your girlfriend.

Based on this, you need to think about whether you actually have time and space in your life for your girlfriend and if you are willing to prioritise being a good partner. Maybe you are happy with your life as it is and don’t actually want to change it to incorporate a romantic partner. That’s absolutely fine, but be honest about it and don’t try to have your cake and eat it too. Relationship takes time and work, no one can keep their life and routines as is and add a partner without making changes to incorporate the relationship. Do you like her enough to choose her and be her partner, not as a label but as a way of life?

Asking ones parter to be part of their life and be more of a priority is not “drama”, saying that sounds really dismissive and that is quite often used to keep women quiet and shamed, so be mindful of how you perceive your own girlfriend. No one is immune to internalising sexism regardless of gender.

Of course there is the possibility that you already call her an hour every day and she’s being unreasonable in you wanting ten min to talk to your friend (with the four hour chat being the only time you talked longer than that), if so disregard the above.

I’m happy to hear that you have a therapist.

It sounds strange that the therapist didn’t suggest for the parent to leave before asking about the relationship. Very proud of you for asking your mum to leave when the topic came up!

If you manage to speak to them alone, you could tell them that you are having issues with boundaries with your parents and you need their help to make sure your therapy can be made safe and with kept confidentiality so you can speak freely. Then you can figure out together how that can be implemented - maybe by having every other session be private, ot by having the therapist ask your mother to leave for like 30 min every session.

You need privacy to figure out who you are and where to find your own strength and courage without your family.

Good luck!

Learn an instrument, or join a choir, or learn some craft like knitting or crocheting (find a craft circle/club for the social aspect and to have someone to learn from).

Something practical and physical. You’ll still be learning and using your brain, but very different pathways from academia.

Such an impressive wing span! I somehow still never expect it but these owls keep catching me off guard. Superb indeed!

I’m feeling 3:1 today, like a sleepy grumpy gramps.

Probably whoever is in gravest danger or, if the danger is percieved as equal, who physically closest to them at the time.

If one of you are able to save themselves they would save the other. If neither could save themselves they wouldn’t run past one of you to look for the other but get the first one they see out first.

I don’t think trying to figure out favourites like this is worth thinking about, past the sbive point. If you dwell on thoughts like this beyond a slight curiosity it might just be your mind trying to come up with different ways to hurt you and make you suffer emotionally. Don’t let it.

For school I tried to always work with a classmate. Even when we weren’t assigned one I asked if it would be okay to do the assignment as a pair.

I know a lot of people hate group assignments, but it worked well for me because I would get the work started, come up with the ideas and create the collaborative spaces. The other person would keep me on track so I didn’t try to change the assignment topic halfway through, and would do those pesky last percent/clean up our workshop notes and make sure the assignment got handed in on time after I ran out of steam and interest.

Getting diagnosed helped me get through my studies like nothing else - figuring out what I needed and being able to ask for it with a diagnosis to back me up (stuff like taking a break to run the stairs and being allowed headphones with music during tests made it so much easier to focus). Good luck figuring out your needs and getting the accommodation you deserve!

If it works in your fantasy then go for it, as long as you’re able to separate fantasy from reality.

Once you’re ready to experience sex with another person, be prepared for the taste, smell and sensation of living human skin to be very different from the taste and smell of dead and burnt/cooked/charred, or even raw, meat regardless of if the animal of origin.

So just dont train yourself too hard to be turned on by dead meat to the point that living people wwont do it for you, because its not going to be the same.

Ps. There are a lot of things you can do with another person that doesnt have to wait until marriage, where you can still experience the sensation of another, if you want to.

Yes, more when going to bed than waking up though.

Let me introduce you to “I’m The Villain In My Own Story”: https://youtu.be/UhzN7SfnNeY

From the excellent (though sometimes emotionally heavy) show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. It’s certainly not the best song in the show, but the most relevant.

And in the artery to that vein, let me present “I’m A Good Person”: https://youtu.be/O4hh1YhDfbA

(Edited to clarify these are not the best songs in the show, there are better songs and in a wide variety of genres!)

Protective gloves representing a lot of blue collars like industrial, mechanical, medical, and maintenance, cleaning.

Keyboard or headset (I considered outlook calendar or zoom symbols, but dont think a specific company should be immortalised here) for a lot of white collars.

To be the artery to your vein:

It’s better the ask and sound ignorant, than say nothing and remain so.

It’s only as awkward as you and the other person makes it, and you sound like you made it pretty awkward for yourself before even giving the other person a chance to be non-awkward about it.

The way I see it: If it’s something the person can fix immediately, like a downed zipper or food in their teeth or visible booger, tell them (discreetly) immediately. If it’s not fixable at the time, don’t draw attention to it.

And I dont know how “oh, you seem to have a zipper malfunction” could ever be seen as trying to hit on someone, so you’d likely have been fine if you hadn’t blown it out of proportion.

Additionally: if you start waffling about and overexplaing, youll make it awkward for yhe other person, if you just mention it casually like you’d mention the weather they won’t feel like its a big deal for you to have seen it. I would appreciate it at least, rather than notice by myself and wonder how many people have seen my underwear or visible booger during the day.

Carrots will not grant you the ability to see in the dark, but have many other benefits. Remember to stock up on carrots when able.

It absolutely could. There could be different options to manage symptoms depending on if they occur at onset, at peak, during withdrawal, or after withdrawal.

But as for answering your question: no, I have far less cravings on meds than off. I have slightly more cravings at night when the meds have worn off, but still almost none unless I’m off the meds for like a week or more.

I have more snacking cravings on meds though. Once I specified it to be late afternoons/evenings, I figured out was because I don’t eat enough during the day on meds, then I could manage that symptom by solving the issue.

Is it when the medicine is active or is it a withdrawal symptom?

Excellent camouflage. Had to do a double take, wouldn’t have know it was there if not alerted. 10/10 Peeta-bird.

I feel ya. I always have to go through and clean up my notes immediately when I can still recall what they may have meant, or the meaning will be lost to time.

I second the recording, it seems like the surest way to save your thoughts word for word but i personallydont like speakingout loud while thinking.

You can type your notes on your phone if you’re as quick or quicker there than by hand. Autocorrect will mess up some words but those will probably be understandable through context rather than the whole sentence being unreadable.

Or try mind-mapping where you only have to write a few words and draw connections between them. This can take some time to practice, and you can figure out your own sort of shorthands for figures and imagery.

I also like bullet points, where I make sure to make key words readable and can add details that may or may not be legible, but the key words are likely to trigger the same thoughts later as when writing them down.

And always go through and clean up whatever notes or voice memos you take as soon as possible after when it’s still relevant in your mind.