Good to get confirmation - I cut around it and will see how it goes. If it is a goner, at least now I know what to do better next time 😔

I think it’s a super complicated topic. My understanding of the quote is that ableism is much bigger and more complicated than language, but we should be aware of how our language reflects ableist views - like the normalization of ableist slurs into our everyday vernacular, for example. In other words, our society is so comfortable with ableism, that even disabled people and advocates for disability rights may use ableist terminology regularly, whether or not they’re aware of the origins.

I, personally, don’t believe that “lame” is necessarily a word that needs to be changed, but I do believe it’s a word with ableist origins. Like our conversation on “dumb”, IMO most people don’t think about the technical definition of “lame” anymore - but I might be wrong, or it might be regional. It’s ultimately a personal choice whether or not it feels hurtful - and obviously, if someone tells you to not use a term around them, that’s important to respect.

The key takeaway, to me, is that we should be mindful of how much ableism is normalized in our lives. I think you’re definitely doing that, based on this post. It doesn’t mean that using terms on this list is only ableist if you’re thinking negatively about disabled people when you use it; it means that we should be thoughtful with our language, but more importantly, thoughtful of how our words and actions may be reinforcing hurtful systems. To use the example from before - if someone doesn’t use the word “crazy” except when describing mentally ill people, that can speak to how they see mentally ill people as not just people who are ill, but as people who are undesirable boogeymen.

Take it on a case-by-case basis, IMO, and follow your gut if you feel shitty about certain words - better safe than sorry. But, at the end of the day, it’s just… complicated!

NO STRAWS NO STRAWS NO STRAWS NO STRAWS

The dentist will probably tell you everything you need to know, but after having spoken to someone who had 3 dry sockets due to using straws after removing her wisdom teeth, it feels like the most important point to drill in.

My partner had a lot of soylent, fruit/veg juice, soup, apple sauce after the procedure. Get some ice cream or a shake (WITH A SPOON) afterwards if you’re not nauseous - you deserve a treat. Apparently the weird ice from Sonic is really good when you get a tooth out, I’ve never had it lol. Good luck on your procedure, and don’t delay it!! Just get it over with so you never have to think about it again. You’re gonna be fine 💖

I’m not mute, but to me, using “dumb” to describe someone who is mute sounds… worse? It feels like the equivalent of recognizing that “crazy” has baggage and not using it in everyday speech, but continuing to use it to describe mentally ill people. I understand that it’s not a perfect comparison, but it feels like sometimes, words become too enmeshed in their modern-day insulting uses to feel okay using them to describe a community, even if it is the technical definition of the word.

If anyone who is mute/nonverbal/nonspeaking sees this and I’m wrong - please let me know!! I don’t mean to overstep, I just want to share my perspective.

I believe some of it is cold war sentiment, but also, the fact that Russia has remained a political enemy of the US. I also suspect a part of it is that it’s harder to find Russian (or Russian-speaking) actors who would agree to play such dehumanizing roles, but obviously, a lot of actors don’t have the luxury of choosing. A big improvement would be to have actual Russian-speaking consultants involved in casting - which, IMO, would be good for casting any actor for a foreign-language-speaking role. It’s bizarre to me that it’s not already a bare minimum requirement for people to be fluent in the languages they’re speaking.

It’s extremely frustrating to me as a native Russian speaker (just commented about this in another thread), since Hollywood looooves Russian villains but hates hiring Russian actors. I actually could not watch later seasons of Stranger Things because of this. I’ve lived in the US my whole life and am now way more fluent in English than Russian, but chose to watch some episodes in Russian because it was way more bearable.

Totally agreed. I’m Ukrainian and nothing gets me as heated watching any movie as Russian villains (almost always played by non-Russian-speaking actors). Hollywood looooves movie villains that reflect the government’s Big Bad Wolves and it’s just disgusting to me. Beyond the obvious facts that xenophobia is bad and using the film industry to stoke the fires of the US’s international feuds is bad, it just fucking hurts the way it feels like people put on costumes to approximate my dad’s appearance and voice because it’s the most basic shorthand for “evil” they can think of.

Get some rest! Hopefully when you come back the mental load is lighter and things work out, but at the end of the day, none of this is more important than your health and well-being.

Yay!! Lost has become a pretty underrated show, it always makes me happy when people are still watching and talking about it ♥

Thank you!! That’s very validating to hear 😊

The Princess Bride is as wonderful a book as it is a movie! You’re gonna love it 😊

I’m gonna be cleaning my apartment because we’re finally getting a couch!! And I need to get the place in order so it’s easy to maneuver it in. We’ve lived in our place for a few months already but still in box city… so it’s nice to have something to force me to unpack and make it look presentable.

Another thing that came to mind just now - while there are often organizations and government resources for homeless people, they might not always have access to them. Trying to get a psychiatrist who takes Medicaid took me 2 entire days of phone calls to find even one who would accept a new patient, and then another 2 months’ wait to get seen. I’ve also heard from people in my last city that they wouldn’t stay in shelters because they’re too unsafe and they’d rather risk sleeping outside in the cold. So, when you wonder if it might’ve been better to donate to an organization, well, maybe, but there will always be limits to how many people they can serve and there will always be people falling through the cracks who need help. Just some more food for thought.

1. Head empty
2. I think these feelings are normal… kind of. They are normal in the sense of, you did something that contradicts what you were taught your whole life. They are also normal because you’re trying to weigh the pros and cons of a complicated issue that has no one-size-fits-all answer because every individual human is different. I can somewhat but not completely relate to these feelings, because I’ve lived in areas with very large homeless populations my whole life, so I don’t really analyze it too much, but I get how it’s different for a new experience.
3. If you can do it, I say do it. No matter what they choose to spend it on, they need money to eat and have water and eventually have somewhere to stay. Making money when you don’t have a job or an address or savings is nearly impossible; saving up, or amassing things to make life easier, are both also extremely difficult, since you can lose everything at any moment. So, yes, the person may choose to use that money in a way that hurts them… IMO that’s their decision to grapple with. I just know that, without any resources, they will likely be in a worse position regardless.

I also think that anyone living in that kind of situation would really appreciate kindness and dignity, which are both sorely lacking in how most people react to a homeless person asking them for help. So, even if you can’t help financially, recognizing your fellow human being is a start, miles above “look away and move on”.

Don’t feel bad for giving someone who needs money some money. Don’t beat yourself up for being unsure how to proceed. Just try to be compassionate; asking these questions is definitely a move forward, IMO.

Here’s a really interesting video by Philosophy Tube about Effective Altruism. It digs into the assumptions behind EA, the way good intentions can lead to great consequences (a different type of effect of altruism - whoops), how those at the forefront of the movement themselves are not quite as altruistic or effective at giving away their money as they claim, criticisms of the philosophies themselves, just a whole lot of really good food for thought.

STRFKR - Girls Just Want To Have Fun, synthy goodness

Kishi Bashi - This Must Be the Place - more orchestral version of the Talking Heads song

Gorillaz - Crystalized - somber cover of the XX song

Placebo - Running Up That Hill - Running Up That Hill but… a Placebo song. Exactly what it says on the tin

This is how I feel. I’d rather have things be fragmented than be too big to fail. A lot of people have joked in the past few years that it feels like the internet only has 4 sites on it now; I’m pretty happy to be back to browsing multiple. It reminds me of following multiple forums around the same topics back in the day. Variety is the spice of life!

The feeling comes and goes for me. Sometimes (often, tbh) it feels completely hopeless. But focusing only on the bad and not being able to find the good, or to let go of the despair, leads to burnout - as you already know - and burnout is where you can, unfortunately, get the least done.

I’m not really good at knowing how to get out of burnout. My whole life is really immersed in “the bad news”, so it’s hard to not be around it. I do think there’s a lot of value in finding good news outlets (like Reasons to Be Cheerful or Grist’s Beacon newsletter) and, contrary to how it may feel or what people might say, it is healthy to disconnect from the bad news sometimes. You have to put on your own lifejacket before helping anyone else. Do the things that make you happy and don’t read the news or look at your phone, if you can.

As for doing things - it’s helpful to pick an area of focus. What are you most passionate about? What’s the most pressing issus to you? That’s where you should put your energy, as much as you’re able. That could mean volunteering, doing research and contacting your representatives, spreading the word about the issues, or finding little ways you can make a difference. My issue is environmentalism, which means that I try to focus on my individual actions as a form of self-care - buying less, buying secondhand, reducing food waste, composting food scraps, contacting my reps, spreading the word. Find your little things that you can affect; those are the ones you can look at and be proud of, and let that heal you.

As a transplant, my view is that the most productive discussion around reddit is how to replace the spaces people lose when they stop using it. I enjoy beehaw way more than reddit overall, but a lot of my favorite communities don’t have equivalents on Lemmy. I didn’t use it as a content aggregator, I used it as a community space, and that’s much harder to replace.

Scraped, but rearranged into a perfectly readable word salad.