Hey, don’t shit on that. I got 35 bucks from a Facebook class action lawsuit I signed on to 12 years ago. I got some nice coffee and a pair of slippers.

It’s not nothing

They pop up in my email inbox every few months or so. I always sign on. If my bank account gets a surprise $5, $10, $50 deposit every once in a while courtesy of Meta or Google, what am I gonna complain? Some court somewhere says I’m entitled to that money. Tiny bit of surprise income ongoing for the last 20 years or so. Times are tough, so thank you very much.

Fuck ‘em

Edit: and it’s not just me. When I hear the kerpling! notification from my phone, and I see $27.15 deposited into my PayPal account from some obscure trust fund out of some town in California that I’ve never heard of, I also know that 3.2 million other people received exactly that same amount exactly the same time because 15 years ago Facebook used my ‘like’ on a post for some kind of ad tracking that wasn’t legal in New York at the time. I have no idea what it was, but thanks for the 27 bucks! I’m gonna buy some groceries!

Oh my goooooood……

deleted by creator

It’s 2026. I can literally say, “hey Siri order me a chocolate cake” and a chocolate cake will be delivered to me in 15 to 20 minutes.

Now that I think of it, right now is the perfect time for a chocolate cake…

Also a private example of “I’m tired of these goddamn job interviews”

I know. It was a joke.

But, at least for now, ai doesn’t really do anything, either, at least not anything particularly meaningful. It’s a McGuffin for billionaires to slush money around and profit from others investing in bunk stock. They’re making trillions in a gigantic pump and dump scheme, and right before the bubble bursts, they’re gonna cash out and fuck off leaving everyone else to get screwed

So fucking close

Lol, sorry Al, I got there first!

Edit: but I love that dude so much, he can fucking have it

Edit 2 [Nov 5, 2056]: As the legal representative of [NAME REDACTED / username: eurodyne] our previous comments are hereby rescinded.

Yeah, I remember that too because I was a teenager when that was in the newspapers, and people were like “whatever”

So gross

I just can’t help myself from faaaaaallin’

From the guy who said injecting bleach would cure Covid after staring into the sun during a solar eclipse

Edit: to future Internet archivists … YES THAT FUCKING HAPPENED!

Edit 2: of course you don’t believe me because it’s just too goddamn insane to be true, so here’s a fucking picture as proof

No, but there should be a highly regulated filter system.

Elon-gate recalled a meme from some forgotten box

A 1996 vintage, I believe? South African. A rosy nose, full-bodied, with a turd finish.

It’s always the ones you most suspect

Hmmm… I think it needs to be something with more ‘bite’. “Musking it up” sounds like a 90s sitcom dad-move. Like something Tim Allen might have tried on Home Improvement.

“Livin’ On the Eggs!”

“Just can’t help myself from breeeeding!”

Ok, fucking yikes— no, that was somehow even more 90s, and incredibly terrifying. Apologies to anyone who gets the reference. and to literally every member of Aerosmith.

Is it… Reaganomics?

Or, more specifically, Ponzi scheme?

There’s probably a more contemporaneous name… Something involving Elon Musk I’m sure

Oh! Welcome to the 1980s

Love me some Kate Pulaski

Oh, sweet bunny child… it’s a much wiser and better fortified place.

Sure, it’s not the bright green innocent fields it once was, but that could never last, even then we knew it. And we prepared. We enjoyed it while it lasted, and we moved on. No innocence was lost and while we may mourn for the past, the future comes for all of us.

Whether we like it or not, we must all move on. The future is inevitable.

Is that not the song of life?