narrator: Nothing was done about it

The cheaper side is a VPN and a pirate’s life for me.

GM should just be like, “We’re just making sure no one is trying to get an abortion.” That’ll shut Texas up.

Easy enough to get around for everyone then. Are you male to female trans? You’re not getting a vagina, you’re getting a penis reduction.

And over there. And a couple more over there. And one there too.

You should start responding with “You’re welcome”. Because if Jesus hadn’t died for their sins, they wouldn’t be Christian.

Just replace the pronouns.

“Hi. Steve was wondering if Steve could go ahead and start Steve’s next project since Steve’s current project is now in review? Steve would be working with Kevin on Steve’s next project and Steve knows that Kevin is wrapping up Kevin’s project this week so Steve and Kevin could start next week”

Doesn’t that sound so much more professional? 🙄

Ok, hear me out… Train station in the shape of a bald eagle with the covered track area leading out shaped like a gun penis for the eagle. The engine is shaped like a bullet, and the cars all have flames down the sides so it goes extra fast.

Hey, you’re right! I’m worth -$248,657.36 (yes, that’s a negative sign). Am not rich at all.

So if I have a pot on my back porch and I grow some basil in it, does that make me a farmer? Can I start shooting the delivery drivers who are bringing packages to my door?

Sounds like an easy claim that they didn’t deliver the package.

And offer them that sweet fresh-out-of-college salary

So if I jerk off on the firehouse steps can I claim I’m just using the Safe Harbor law?

They’ll increase hourly wages by $0.50/hour. … And decrease employee hours to 10 hours/week.

But let’s ban abortion because that will fix everything.

No straws In Minecraft

Instructions unclear…

09, 108, 1107, 11106, 111105

Religion is insanity.

Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers… People shoot up schools

Everyone loses their minds so someone gets naked.

I’ve genuinely never had that experience at Target. I can scan everything in my cart without once putting it in the bagging area and the self-checkouts at Target don’t give a shit.

You know what they say, “I before V, except after C”. (Or something like that.)