I guarantee you that would not work, because I went through cyber schooling as a kid long before covid was a thing and they tried the same with me when I procrastinated and played games instead of doing my work. They locked it down progressively more and I kept breaking out until finally, they gave me a computer so locked down you couldn’t open task manager, command prompt, safe mode had a password…

I was back to full access in <3 days. At the age of like 12. And apparently, the school’s IT department basically said “we can’t lock it down any more or else he wouldn’t be able to do work on it, either”. And then they gave up.

In short, that will not stop a crafty enough, stubborn enough kid. Guaranteed.

Higher than giraffe titties, huh?

I swear, the best way to experience Helldivers 2’s community is to just be decent in games with randoms, maybe watch CommissarKai’s videos (do not go into the comments section) for tips on teamplay, and absolutely positively do not venture into the steam forums, the discord, or any other big discussion forum centered around the game because it w i l l be a cesspit, unfortunately. The Steam forums have the usual toxic trolls, but the Discord (and other hubs) is usually having furious arguments over buffs, nerfs, what is meta, what isn’t, what should be done what shouldn’t be and so on. For a silly little PvE co-op power fantasy game.

I’m not sure if Deep Rock Galactic has this problem, I’ve played it and it all seemed pretty positive but I never got into the game as much as I did HD2.

WE’RE RICH

In-game everyone is usually wonderful.

The official discord server, on the other hand… no. Just no.

so you mean I get to exist as a creature of pure joy that everyone else loves when they see me? And I gain the ability to lick my own balls?

I’m not sure you understand this whole “monkeys paw” thing.

pfft, people already think I’m weird and inappropriate, I’m on the spectrum. Is that the worst you’ve got?

Almost every antidepressant I’ve tried has side effects I don’t like, but especially the way they fuck up your libido is incredibly frustrating to me, and every antidepressant that has had any effect on my mood has also made my dick useless. The only one I’d tried that didn’t was Wellbutrin, and that just didn’t do anything.

Oh, runners up prize for “worst side effect” goes to Prozac, which made me grind my goddamn teeth unconsciously, in addition to my dick not working. that got seriously painful after a few days.

being happy

I don’t need superpowers, just let me not be depressed while retaining a functioning cock/not feeling numb to the world.

Alright, fun’s over, let the monkey’s paw curl.

… I can’t tell if you’re being facetious or not, but those are probably the red pegs you actually stick into the battleships in the game when your ship is hit. this is actually the box art from 1967, furthermore, I can remember seeing it before the age of slop came upon us.

Anything under a certain dollar amount had no import tax. This is how sites like Temu managed to make their money, able to sell garbage as cheap as possible because there were no import duties on it.

I’d go so far as to posit that there’s no such thing as a “broken escalator”, that Mitch Hedburg had it exactly right; it is merely a phase transition to stairs, unless the escalator was like, torn in two – you wouldn’t call ice “melted ice” after it melts, you’d (usually) just call it water. Same shit. An escalator merely has a phase change directly into being stairs if it “breaks”, unless the escalator was so violently broken it could no longer be considered stairs, either.

Yeah, but book Bond and movie Bond are two rather different Bonds. I think Timothy Dalton probably got closest to depicting the literary Bond onscreen, but in so many words: the books are a fair bit darker in tone than some of the movies, and secondly (something Dalton thankfully did not channel), they’re exceedingly racist. Yes, even more racist than You Only Live Twice let’s-make-Sean-Connery-Japanese racism. One chapter of Live and Let Die set in Harlem NY is titled, I shit you not, “[n-word] Heaven”.

I like that, even in-universe, in 1964, Bond’s first reaction to that name is “I must be dreaming”. So it’s not like the filmmakers weren’t aware of how absurd that name is. They just didn’t give a shit.

The Oblongs was fun.

Drawn Together was awful, but a trashy-yet-fascinating kind of awful, and definitely qualified as unhinged.

oh, and superjail, and squidbillies. 1000%, superjail and squidbillies, someone else should’ve mentioned these by now, I hate to this day that I can still remember them.

Shit, most of Adult Swim’s lineup was either syndicated fox series, anime, or completely fucking duck tits insane.

Jeansus Christ.

ok good all those national geographic/animal planet educational shows I watched weren’t just a way for 9 year old me to waste time.

Instead, they have helped 28 year old me critique memes. Hallelujah.

isn’t that an alligator though? or have my reptile identification skills failed me

then again this is a shitpost so I probably shouldn’t think about it too hard

I’m supposed to be asleep?

Nice try, dweeb.