"goddamnit they’re lying primaries again. Pack it up let’s get out of here.’

‘no crabs??’

‘no they’re bald fucking monkeys again. These ones LIE.’

“We’ve got some crabs…”

‘OH SURE. YOU’VE GOT CRABS AND THEY HAVEN’T TAKEN OVER THE PLANET YET. RIIIIIIGHT. FUCK OFF PRIMATE.’

What’s your dog’s opinion on crab?

I suspect that there are multiple Borgs at different, distinct levels of advancement and organization, some so far removed from the others that they bare little resemblance.

See: TNG v Voyager

You need to know that you’ve woken a desire for a crossover movie in me so powerful that I will forever live a life of regret that it will never be written.

North Korea is all about appearances, actual solutions aren’t important

I would like to purchase a stake in your industrial botanical operation. What people will do with weeds I have no idea but mushrooms are always popular at the farmers market.

Your statement creates a paradox. You must sacrifice a partition to Windows or risk Steve Jobs visiting you in the night.

I for one am tired of division. We must unite under one crust. Held together by our love of sauce, cheese, and toppings on bread. Brothers and sisters, sharing a slice in unity. Not divided over what specific toppings may reside or the contents of the sauce. I SAY NAY. pizza is made to share, and together we may all enjoy a bite.

Unless it’s from Brazil holy shit what the fuck are they even doing down there?

Sir I will not tolerate such reckless disregard for decorum. You are a scoundrel sir. A SCOUNDREL.

What happens at the farmers market stays at the farmers market

Sir I respect you but you are so wrong it’s embarrassing.

The correct three flavors of jolly rancher are, in order:

Green apple, watermelon, blue raspberry.

Don’t worry, you’ll continue to pay for it. You’ll probably even pay more.

The cuts are just for the people receiving it. They’ll lose money. Which means you’ll lose even more in the future.

A majority of young people agree on what the right course of action is here. Remember to leave your phone at home. Don’t talk to the police.

Yes. This was a study by Emerson college. The methodology is linked in the article.

But I just started reading it… There’s plant zombies and bison headed centaurs… It’s good man don’t make me stop now

They make chips for missiles.

Be the change you want to see in the world

I used to love using a rowing machine.

After having lost a significant amount of weight, I no longer have the necessary padding in my ass and sitting on one, especially leaning back is excruciating due to a common problem among obese people. My tail bone is permanently fucked.

Never get fat friends. Some things your body recovers from as you lose weight, some things you carry forever.

“Star,” like that chair, is doing a lot of heavy lifting here

I’m not saying it’s not worth ten dollars.

I just don’t feel like spending ten dollars.

Don’t forget all the health and biometric data, last used app, and Facebook access