While I understand the sentiment, I have to disagree.

This is nearly perfect comedy, Without the final redirect it’s just a rant about Fake Plastic Trees

☝️ this dude screws

How tf can hyperdrive exist but screws haven’t been invented lol

I think the real issue is that prop design has fallen so far from the ILM heyday. Now it’s best described as follows:

Pics or it didn’t happen

(lol just kidding. what you’re describing is almost as bad as unscrewing a security flathead screw. look it up. invented by Satan, with help from Brian Thompson)

Ngl if I didn’t have impact drivers I’d probably hate Phillips screws a whole lot more

Easiest, yes. And wheels are easier than repulserlifts. If sometime said “Ya know, greasing axels sucks balls. Let’s invent something better”, they probably developed something better than the shittiest screw head in the history of sentience.

But that’s just, like, my opinion man

You clearly haven’t had to screw a flathead screw.

Anyone that’s dicked around with those little bastards starts hating life after about thirty seconds. A fastener I can screw in a without having to be perfectly in line with the shaft? Yes please! I don’t care if it’s a shitty Phillips screw, sign me up. I’d even take those goofy square Canadian screws. Hell, anything is better than flathead.

I challenge you to find a screw worse to use than a flathead screw.

(⁠☞ﾟ⁠ヮﾟ⁠)⁠☞

National Epilepsy Day.

We had to give them one, otherwise they’d throw a fit

I’ll^seemyself^out

Well, I’d better replace it then

…

Sorry gov’, we’re right out of dictators. I’ve got a slug

23 years ago I met a guy at work that was really cool. We became friends of a sort, in the way that a shy introvert considers friends. Every once in a while he’d invite me to hang out with his friends, which was always a good time. I’m not sure if he considered me a friend. I always felt like an outsider in those groups. But he was kind to me, and I love him. Eventually we both moved away from that area. I’m not good at keeping in touch, especially over long distances. For instance, my brother lives a couple of states away, I love him to death, and we talk maybe once a year.

So I’d call my friend every once in a while, and we’d catch up.

Eighteen years ago I lost my friend to depression. The details aren’t important. How he did it. Who found him. The 3 am phone call. But it was 18 years ago. It still hurts. You think you’ll always have someone, that they’re just a phone call away. That you’ll get to hear their weird take on that thing we’d always argue about. That you’ll get to hear his latest poem…

And you’ll always wonder if you could’ve done something to help them stay.

People don’t realize that they bring light to the world. That they’ll be missed. That there will be a hole in the world where they were. That they are loved more deeply and profoundly than they can know. The memory of them is a poor substitute for their presence.

Don’t go too soon. You will be missed.

No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life is only the core of their actual existence

I feel Sir Pterry will outlive us all

GNU Terry Pratchett

Oh no, not again!

“I Worked It Out. You Have Killed Two Point Three Three Eight People,” said the golem calmly.

“I have never laid a finger on anyone in my life, Mr Pump. I may be–– all the things you know I am, but I am not a killer! I have never so much as drawn a sword!”

"No, You Have Not. But You Have Stolen, Embezzled, Defrauded And Swindled Without Discrimination, Mr Lipvig. You Have Ruined Businesses And Destroyed Jobs. When Banks Fail, It Is Seldom Bankers Who Starve. Your Actions Have Taken Money From Those Who Had Little Enough To Begin With. In A Myriad Small Ways You Have Hastened The Deaths Of Many. You Do Not Know Them. You Did Not See Them Bleed. But You Snatched Bread From Their Mouths And Tore Clothes From Their Backs. For Sport, Mr Lipvig. For Sport. For The Joy Of The Game.

• Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

That’s nothing! I can last in 100C water, for a (very short) while

Now with vitamin R!

If the contact lens was the size of a city block, the wearer would be around 7-8 miles tall. And while that’s very large on a terrestrial scale, on the cosmic scale it’s infinitesimal. Since God is the creator of heaven and earth, and heaven includes all star bearing galaxies, the Creator must be greater than the created, which is around 93 billion light years across. Further, contact lenses are corrective, and God is without flaw, so this couldn’t be God’s contact lens. But it cannot be a terrestrial contact lens. So it must be celestial, but for something that needs correction. The only celestial beings that would have flaws are fallen celestials.

This is Satan’s contact lens. Satan is no more than 8 miles tall

You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They’ve got curved swords. Curved. Swords.

You know what really grinds my gears about Vulcans? According to Trek lore their blood is green because they evolved using copper atoms to bind oxygen in the blood. But if that were the case they should have hemocyanin, and their blood should be blue.

I know for a certainty, however, that any inhabitable worlds we might find in the future will definitely look like a sound stage populated with Styrofoam boulders

Anyway, hardcore fans are dumb. I should know, I was one