Thanks for saying this… I have a lot of guilt because I left grad school early. I was hired at a company and my advisor urged me to take the rare job in exactly my field and we would finish my thesis later. It’s been a year and I’ve not defended. My advisor won’t even read what I have written even though I met with them and they agreed to. I had a lot written at one point but they said it was shit and to delete it and start over. When I think about it or about opening it I just feel panicked. When I was at university I had started to attend free counseling the school offered (because a lot of students had been committing suicide) and the counseling really helped me feel better but now I definitely can’t get any.

I don’t need to defend to have my job but I just want it over and I’m scared I won’t finish. One of my coworkers had been pestering me about it for a year and I finally just told them I did defend because I didn’t want them to talk to me like I’m stupid everyday. I feel bad about that too