I’m bad at storytelling, but I will try to tell you a boring story about coincidence.

There’s that one period in my life in which my mental health was at its lowest and I was searching for an actual reason to live. It was a kind of existential crisis coupled with a very bad case of self depreciation.

No matter what reasons I could come up with to prove that my existence mattered, I could never acknowledge them, brushing them off as just coincidence - “Your existence makes your parents happy? You just happened to be their only child”, “Your were recognized as talented? No, anyone could’ve done that if they put similar efforts”, “Your friend told you you’re a good friend? No, they just don’t know you enough”. This line of thoughts was with me all the time back then. My life’s useless and inconsequential, and whether I died or lived didn’t really make a difference in the end, or so I thought.

Then, just because I was in the right place at the right time, I somehow ended up talking someone out of taking their own life. If I didn’t exist, someone might have died. That coincidence proved the usefulness of my life; it was the first time that I couldn’t deny the fact that my life did matter.

I think it’s funny how we walk through our lives and become who we are where we are at just by a chain of decisions and coincidences like that all the time. When I look back on all I’ve experienced until this day like this, I think life is kind of a wonder.