It’s now my one year “anniversary” of my psych med “journey”. I just feel so frustrated.

The providers always ask me how I’m doing and if I think X drug we are trying right now helps. I always have no fucking clue.

I keep a mood log and everything, but I cannot for the life of me discern any sort of pattern for any of these. One month will be fantastic and the next month will be so horrible and painful it’s like someone is boring a hole through my body with a branding iron.

My provider is having me take the GeneSight test to figure out if there is a particular option I should be trying. But I am just so exhausted with this that I’m considering the next med to be my final straw.

I do NOT have bipolar disorder. I do NOT have chronic low mood. I do NOT have lack of emotions. I do NOT have PTSD. I have periods of extreme, unbearable intensity with periods of normal in between. I have relational trauma. Since my issues are intermittent, I cannot for the life of me tell if I am ever helped by anything.

I am currently in an intensive DBT program. While it has been a lifesaver when I have “simple” problems, it does not touch the intense pain of others.

Some research I do seems to indicate my problem cannot be even minimally helped by meds, which is incredibly frustrating. I want even just a little bit of something to help reduce my pain. :(

How can I figure this out?

  • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.worldEnglish
    31·
    6 days ago

    You should bring your concerns to your providers and ask them, and not diagnose yourself via Google, or ask strangers on Lemmy. If they’re not satisfying your questions, ask to change providers. Can you ask any friends or family if they’ve noticed a difference since you’ve started taking different medications?

    • dingus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      3·
      6 days ago

      My providers know all of this stuff about me. This is what I tell them. I am not hiding anything or not communicating.

      One was honest with me straight up said “I’m sorry but I and your therapist seem to be unable to give you sufficient care”.

      I have tried different providers. It has the same result. I explain the nature of my “symptoms” to them and keep logs.

      Occasionally a friend will remark that I am “doing better”, but then I go right back to where I was before. Other times when people remark that I am “doing better”, it’s simply that I am better at hiding it from others for a period of time.

      My issues are very episodic in nature which my providers are very aware of.