Keep working on it, it takes so much effort on my part to be like “man that really sucks” or “wow that sounds really frustrating” for the most part my SO knows the solution and just wants to be heard.
I’ve overheard her talking to her mom on the phone how supportive I am and how good of a listener I am. This is the first relationship I’ve managed to do these things and we’re getting married in 4 weeks :)
My wife has heard a similar one that she uses -
“Do you want me to listen, get mad for you, or help you”.
I think sometimes “do you want real talk” can be part of it once they’ve processed a little bit because the truth can be harder to hear.
.
It can also be nice to ask “what have you already thought of” once you reach the solutions stage. Offers another chance for connection and making them feel like you are not assuming they haven’t thought of anything yet.
I would love to be able to do this. I always jump right to problemsolving mode. At best I realize my mistake halfway throgh.
Keep working on it, it takes so much effort on my part to be like “man that really sucks” or “wow that sounds really frustrating” for the most part my SO knows the solution and just wants to be heard.
I’ve overheard her talking to her mom on the phone how supportive I am and how good of a listener I am. This is the first relationship I’ve managed to do these things and we’re getting married in 4 weeks :)
My wife has heard a similar one that she uses - “Do you want me to listen, get mad for you, or help you”. I think sometimes “do you want real talk” can be part of it once they’ve processed a little bit because the truth can be harder to hear. .
Yeah candor/feedback are hard in relationships and getting “consent” before doing that can help a lot. It takes a lot of trust to get to that level.
It can also be nice to ask “what have you already thought of” once you reach the solutions stage. Offers another chance for connection and making them feel like you are not assuming they haven’t thought of anything yet.
Congrats!
Congratulations!
Something tells me she can solve the shwarma conundrum on her own.
It takes practice, but it can be a game changer in a relationship.