If you truly love your partner, does a ring and a ceremony really do anything?

I know there are certain legal situations where an official marriage changes who has certain rights, but aren’t those same rights available if you make other legally-official decisions E.G. a will or trusts, etc?

I’m generally curious why people get married beyond the “because I love them” when it costs so much money.

  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca
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    11 hours ago

    Some rights can be similar, but you’ll always have to declare the other person as your legal whatever. Marriage says to the state that this person is my default for pretty much everything–power of attorney, medical stuff, property ownership, etc. So if I get in an accident and fall unconscious, my wife doesn’t have to fight the hospital staff to see me.

    Depending on your country, there are other bonds that have the same legal binding as marriage.

    In addition, if we’re honest, there are some “soft” benefits as well. My wife changed her name when we got married, and having the same last name (and our kids having the same last name) avoids a lot of complexity with things like traveling (especially because our daughter is a different skin color than the rest of us). Marriage didn’t explicitly grant us that privilege, but there are a lot of societal norms that come with it that have proven beneficial.

    I’m not trying to claim that any of this is how it should be necessarily, but if you’re asking about practical reasons why, those are some of them. If you want the practical benefits without the cost, it’s (relatively) cheap to go to the courthouse or Vegas. Hell, you can get a friend to perform the ceremony for free, all you pay is for the marriage license. But if you’re otherwise not interested in marriage and those benefits don’t appeal (or whatever other reason), just stay dating.

    • jjpamsterdam@feddit.org
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      9 hours ago

      Thanks for sharing! Concerning logistics when travelling I can also share my experience.

      I travel on a Dutch passport and my children, while also having Dutch citizenship, travel on German passports because that is where we live and where my wife is from. They also use my wife’s German last name. Therefore, when travelling, my kids and I have different names and nationalities. For some reason nobody ever questioned any of that. I keep a copy of the birth certificate just in case though.