I blame society for telling me to use drugs. I went along with it to fit in. I don’t care about fitting in anymore, but I don’t think it was my fault for partaking given the social atmosphere. So why do I have to suffer these dreams that torment me about it? Do I have unresolved trauma related to it or some shit?
PS. I am straight edge now, I haven’t used drugs in a long time and don’t think about them while I’m awake at all. I prefer to be sober minded. The only part they play in my life is in occasional dreams apparently, which are usually negative and unpleasant.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much if it isn’t causing you stress or harm while you’re awake. I quit smoking several years ago now and in almost every dream I recall having, I just have a cigarette a lot of the time in addition to whatever else is going on. Sometimes it actually enters into the dream, a lot of the time not.
I don’t notice any effects from this like increased craving. I think it just means there’s a little part of me that misses the heaters; I’d be lying if I said I never thought about having one, you know?