I blame society for telling me to use drugs. I went along with it to fit in. I don’t care about fitting in anymore, but I don’t think it was my fault for partaking given the social atmosphere. So why do I have to suffer these dreams that torment me about it? Do I have unresolved trauma related to it or some shit?
PS. I am straight edge now, I haven’t used drugs in a long time and don’t think about them while I’m awake at all. I prefer to be sober minded. The only part they play in my life is in occasional dreams apparently, which are usually negative and unpleasant.
In a way, like I’ll have these really stressful dreams sometimes where panic sets in and I’ll feel it physically(probably from experiencing panic attacks in real life) and jolt awake. It concerned me at first until I realized it always happened when I needed to go to the bathroom so it was my subconscious making me wake up before I peed the bed. That’s just a basic example, it of course can get very complex and it just takes work to pinpoint what your subconscious is trying to tell you. It could be something seriously bothering you or it could just be something simple like the urge to use the bathroom