I blame society for telling me to use drugs. I went along with it to fit in. I don’t care about fitting in anymore, but I don’t think it was my fault for partaking given the social atmosphere. So why do I have to suffer these dreams that torment me about it? Do I have unresolved trauma related to it or some shit?

PS. I am straight edge now, I haven’t used drugs in a long time and don’t think about them while I’m awake at all. I prefer to be sober minded. The only part they play in my life is in occasional dreams apparently, which are usually negative and unpleasant.

  • lady_maria@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    2 天前

    if not trauma, perhaps shame? subconscious or otherwise. I mean, “torment” is a pretty extreme way to describe it.

    it sounds like your discomfort might be beyond the kind of discomfort one gets by simply being under the influence of a substance (though tbh, I can’t really relate lol).

    unless it’s really affecting your life, I wouldn’t overthink it too much. Plenty of people have recurring unpleasant dreams/nightmares.

    • SeahorseTreble@lemmy.worldOP
      31·
      2 天前

      I should have probably mentioned I have tactile dreaming, meaning I feel physical sensations including pain in dreams, and my main reason why I feel “tormented” (or even tortured) by these dreams is not so much from a psychological or philosophical point of view (although there is that as well), but because in addition to feeling anxious, depressed, confused & disoriented in these dreams, which are all unpleasant experiences for me, I also feel “physically” unwell, nauseous/ill/sick, and in bodily pain as well in some cases. These are all things I felt when I had these experiences IRL, and yes I am possibly negatively affected more physically by substances than other people, which is part of why I decided it wasn’t for me.

      I can deal with it if I have to, but since it happens quite often and makes going to sleep something I dread, I would rather prevent it happening if possible (and maybe that just takes a lot of time, I don’t know).

      • lady_maria@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        2 天前

        that really sucks. :( it might be worthwhile to talk to a doctor about this then, if you haven’t already. Maybe you would benefit from a sleep study.