I blame society for telling me to use drugs. I went along with it to fit in. I don’t care about fitting in anymore, but I don’t think it was my fault for partaking given the social atmosphere. So why do I have to suffer these dreams that torment me about it? Do I have unresolved trauma related to it or some shit?
PS. I am straight edge now, I haven’t used drugs in a long time and don’t think about them while I’m awake at all. I prefer to be sober minded. The only part they play in my life is in occasional dreams apparently, which are usually negative and unpleasant.
One theory is dreams are you brain doing maintenance on memories. Doing a defrag, cleaning dust, something like that, but we don’t really know for sure. You briefly relive those memories. Another part of the brain sees those flashes of memories and tries to make sense of these, like a narrator that forgot the script at home. And that’s what you experience as a dream. You just had a strong response to this particular memory.