I blame society for telling me to use drugs. I went along with it to fit in. I don’t care about fitting in anymore, but I don’t think it was my fault for partaking given the social atmosphere. So why do I have to suffer these dreams that torment me about it? Do I have unresolved trauma related to it or some shit?
PS. I am straight edge now, I haven’t used drugs in a long time and don’t think about them while I’m awake at all. I prefer to be sober minded. The only part they play in my life is in occasional dreams apparently, which are usually negative and unpleasant.
Might just be a subconscious response to still-active societal social pressures, and your mind reminding you why it’s not a good idea. Perhaps on some low level you may still want a certain amount of relation with your peers that’s reminiscent of those younger days that you no longer have, but your brain is fighting back to that base instinct.