Ten minutes ago, I was watching the moon while listening to music. Specifically, “My Castle Town” by Toby Fox. And I just started crying. Tears of joy. I realized just how much I enjoy living. The pretty view of The Moon, the beautiful melody…

I never had any bad things happen to me. I love my parents because they are loving and kind, no trauma whatsoever, had depression once but I sent it away shortly. Lots of hospital visits though. But nothing serious. No girlfriends, no love pains etc.

I have basically nothing in my hands right now. But I’m always able craft new hobbies when I run out of them. By the mere power of imagination. In fact, I’m looking to learn French now because English was easy as fuck.

But while I enjoy life very much, I realize that I begin to distance myself from those that do not think the same. For instance, one of my friends never takes any joy from anything that he does. Say; complains about not having a girlfriend, being ugly etc. etc. He’s the most handsome person I’ve ever seen in person. And girls just straight up lust over him. Yet, he insists on focussing on the negative. Which makes zero sense to me. Why is he ruining his own life by refusing to see the good?

Now I do realize that most people are not as lucky as me to be with absolutely no problems in their lives. However, I had the “basic” set of problems that men my age have. Those being:

  • Like a girl but she rudely refuses you (or even insults)
  • Argue with parents

And my “friends” are always so offended by these problems all they do is complaining about them non-stop. One even tried to kill himself over a girl. I genuinely can’t warp my head around this. Why? When I encountered these things I never cared or at worst deluded my way out.

Why can’t people just sit down and appreciate life? When I’m sitting down waiting for something, the mere ability to move my limbs seems fascinating to me. I get out of so many things.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t mean any of this as seeing myself above others. (Although I do have a massive ego.)

Meanwhile, I will watch the Moon.

  • NaevaTheRat [she/her]@vegantheoryclub.orgEnglish
    12·
    3 days ago

    Great pain, or an inability to find lasting reprieve from pain. The former is obvious, the latter can be something like the following:

    Suppose by whatever circumstance you were you, but I fiddled with the way your brain works. Now when something small upsetting happens it lingers for long time, while something good is only experienced in a muted and brief fashion. Over time this twists your expectations, each day is like 90% feeling bad regardless of what happened and no matter what you tell yourself about the smallness of the bad thing the feeling remains.

    You can be on holiday in a beautiful place but the thought that keeps coming to mind is that you aren’t as comfortable as in your own bed.

    you stop sleeping right, you stop eating right because all food tastes equivalently meh. Your hobbies stop holding interest, successes stop feeling rewarding, but that pain from knowing you’re now boring and your friends pity and resent you? Fresh as ever.