You sound like an asshole, fyi lol

Ftfy

THIS. IS. SPARTA!!

27.5 if you’re drunk

Sort of describes bulimia I guess

That last sentence - yes! 0 degrees outside? No problem, coat. 80 degrees outside? I turn into a fussy baby. At 90 I’m like non functional

My cat when I don’t feed her on time

I know right. I’m 39, all 20.

I used to yawn incessantly during warmups before rugby matches. My coach would yell at me to get my head into the game. I kept telling him it’s just what happens when I’m warming up it doesn’t mean anything!

My wife and I refer to this as the “Kitty Claws” of our marriage contract

Oh hell yes, utilize drives me nuts. Its supposed to mean when you find a particularly effective, often different than typical purpose, for usage of something.

I utilize the word utilize as a way to identify people who spit out word jargon to hide their ineptitude

“instead of using toilet paper he wipes his ass with a town that then he stores full of shit on a drawer”

I have a lot of questions about this part

Yeah I was thinking this sound alike my 4 year old

I do know a shaman. She does not dress like that

Yeah the first time I tried the two options for clothes on my then-two year old, he snatched both options out of my hands, threw them on the ground, and screamed NO CLOTHES

Ohhhh. Yup had no idea, thanks

I laughed. But like, why

Yeah I’m in the middle of visiting Germany, Austria, and Slovenia over five weeks, and I did not pack enough warm clothes