Why would I eat a guinea pig’s name?

And there’s me just thinking the joke was that it turned him into anime.

Sir Walter Raleigh returns from the New World to present the crazy edible tubers he found to the Queen of England, but Samwise Gamgee is already there with his pot.

You can choose not to drive bleeding edge technology, but sadly you have no choice in whether to share the road with it.

They should call for federal aid.

The bit about alewives is. The hat thing is supposition.

The firm handshake worked great until I met an employer who was higher Dan in Judo than me.

Is this specifically relating to the difference between Victoria and Mississippi?

Victoria is that low cos they don’t fuck around when it comes to driving fines. The speed limit means limit, and they’re cracking down hard on drivers using phones.

Mine picks at the side of the mattress until I give in and swing my legs out, then she runs off to the food bowl to eat the biscuits that are always there overnight. She doesn’t even need me to do that!

Does being a weird little capitalist lickspittle even work on LinkedIn? I see people obviously trying to game the algorithm to gain exposure, including groups of devs sharing basic tips with each other and commenting to amplify, even though you’d think most hiring managers know that devs absolutely don’t go to LinkedIn to learn and share tips.

Women in tall hats used to brew beer - which makes your penis feel bigger - in a cauldron at markets, but then men wanted to brew beer so they drove the women out and the image became part of the iconography of witchcraft.

Yum, Creme Brulee.

I’d have missed the point of this entirely but for the helpful underlining.

American politicians form third right-wing party.

Bullshit, cow eggs have black patches on them.

See, that’s the problem with people nowadays?They want to minimalise everything.

They should just slow down and breathe.

Maybe they’re planning to start making chocolate.

This is remarkably common among visitors to A&E.

Keep people in adjacent cages on a big rectangle of concrete next to a swamp so they get all the social time they need. Kid Rock plays to keep up morale every Friday night.